Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #sports #rock

A set of individuals believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life-threatening, intense

sports

such

as skydiving and rock climbing should be prohibited from being enjoyed by

people

. From my viewpoint, I disagree with

this

notion as adventure lovers are thrilled by engaging in these types of

sports

and they

also

encourage them to maintain physical stamina.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adventure seekers all around the world are developing an endless yearning to accept

challenges

Correct article usage

the challenges

show examples

of enjoying risky

sports

by actively participating in them.

This

has led them to follow their passion

while

considering it as a self-motivation for them.

Moreover

continuous

Change the word

continuously

show examples

taking part in these fitness activities

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to realize a sense of accomplishment for them.

For instance

, in the UK, Bunjee jumping and parachuting

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

been considered as few of the most demanded and enjoyed

sports

in the amusement parks in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent years.

Secondly

, the sportspersons who participate in these dangerous

sports

are always encouraged to maintain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better physical stamina throughout their life as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

body balance, muscle endurance and physical activeness have an immense impact on it.

Furthermore

, mental stability is

also

equally imperative as determination and perseverance act as essential traits that should be well developed when doing these

sports

For example

, nowadays artificial intelligence has developed therapeutic treatments for phobias related to great heights suffered by patients.

This

is to create the mental readiness of

people

for risky and challenging

sports

. In conclusion,

although

some

people

think that

sports

that arouse

adrenalin

Correct article usage

an adrenalin

show examples

rush should be forbidden by the government, I am

with

Change preposition

show examples

the opinion that they shouldn’t be banned as these recreational activities are better stimulators for adventure thrillers and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

who are concerned

Change preposition

about

show examples

maintaining a proper balance of physical and mental well-being.

Submitted by tnirmani94 on Wed Nov 01 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientists and technology expert seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

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some people believe that all students should be made to have unpaid job in their free time.Do you agree or disagree?