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Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
Under
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In
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this
 digital age, the speed of
information
 sharing is going viral as compared to the
post industrialization
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post-industrialization
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 period.
For instance
, just one click on the computer can already transfer data across continents in a second.
As a result
, the convenience of content delivery has provoked an important discussion - whether all types of
information
 are suitable to be selfishnessly shared scientifically, academically and economically. Because of the easy accessibility of
information
, some protagonists argue that certain
regime
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regimes
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 of
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 shall not be disclosed publicly.
For example
, the secret recipes of the businesses shall be kept confidential in order to secure their continuity and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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position in the market;
Furthermore
, some sensitive personal
information
such
 as customer identity numbers shall be protected
too
Rephrase
apply
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to prevent any illegal use of those data to commit crimes. Despite the detrimental impacts mentioned above, in a broader perspective, fostering
information
 exchanges can indeed save lives. One prime example is during COVID-19, the education and promotion on maintaining personal hygiene and notification of nearby potential patients hindered the spread of the disease within the crowd.
Due to
 the broadcasts, the city dwellers can collaborate immediately with a comparable common ground and understanding. In conclusion, to a large
extent
Add a comma
extent,
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 I support
the
Correct article usage
apply
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flexible data transmission so as to encourage
continuous
Correct article usage
the continuous
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 development of the whole civilization. Meanwhile, the drawbacks it brings alongside can always be mitigated through collective efforts and knowledge
sharings
Correct your spelling
sharing
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. In the hope of a better future, all
humankinds
Correct your spelling
humankind
 shall contribute together to improve the quality of life and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society without hesitation.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

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introduction conclusion present
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relevant specific examples
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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