In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

In a majority of countries, it is often said to children that by working hard child will certainly score

wished

Verb problem

their desired

show examples

achievement.

Nevertheless

, there are some people who believe that

this

encouragement has enormous

unwelcomed

Correct your spelling

unwelcome

show examples

outcomes.

This

essay below aims to investigate the positive and negative effects of

this

statement. First and foremost,

such

pieces of advice can provoke them to work and make the most of the situation.

In other words

, teenagers will try to do their best in order to achieve certain goals in their lives. In the way of illustration, pupils with the reward tend to work harder than those who do not have any purpose.

In addition

, it

also

changes the attitude towards subjects and the outlook of a child.

Thus

, encouraging teens has a lot of welcomed results.

Last

but not least, little people with

such

kind of data can start to worry about their future in youth. It can be

due to

falling behind in class or just not getting

appropriately

Change the adverb

appropriate

show examples

information in school lessons.

For instance

, when a kid understands that the

pas

Correct your spelling

past

show examples

will be rough he or she starts to panic. As a repercussion, they might become disillusioned by themselves and drop off. In

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, giving hope to a child does not have any bad consequences,

that is

why the advantages overweight the disadvantages.

Submitted by zarinadalab on Wed Nov 01 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of giving children the message that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. However, you could provide clearer examples and develop your ideas further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to improve the overall coherence and cohesion, you need to develop your main points further and provide more specific examples.

lexical resource

Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but you could further enhance it by using more varied and precise language. Additionally, make sure to use appropriate academic vocabulary for an IELTS essay.

grammatical range

Your essay shows a fair range of grammatical structures and generally accurate grammar. However, there are some mistakes and awkward phrasing that can be improved.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arys and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

Some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more material and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal.