To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement that oil, jungle, water, and other natural resources are being used too much? What are the main causes of this issue and what do you believe is the best possible solution? Provide reasons and examples to support your viewpoint."

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It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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oil, jungle,water and other natural
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are being used too much.The main cause of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue
that
Add a missing verb
is that

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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people try to build new cities even in forested
areas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the best possible solution is governments should do much more to curb the exploitation of these non-renewable
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The main reason why
planet's
Correct article usage
the planet's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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resources
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are expended
that
Add a missing verb
is that

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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people are taking ownership of new lands and opening up various environmentally harmful enterprises,
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring

The spelling of favoring is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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natural
resources
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

forests just to get rich.
As a result
Linking Words

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of
this
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, forest
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are decreasing and the gas produced by various enterprises contains toxic substances, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

gas is not only harmful to nature
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

harmful to the animal world.
In addition
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, in many urban
areas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and enterprises, natural
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are now being used extensively for daily needs and production.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words

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last
Linking Words

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year's report, the world's population, especially in urban
areas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, used natural
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for various modern technologies without stopping
due to
Linking Words

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extreme cold. The solution that I believe would be most effective is that there are various steps that the government could take to tackle these problems.
Initially
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they could encourage the use of renewable and sustainable energy from solar, wind, or water power. So, they could grant subsidies or adopt
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable

The spelling of favorable is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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policies
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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eco-friendly industries
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as the electronic vehicle business.
Moreover
Linking Words

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, politicians have the right to impose laws and punitive penalties on companies, which could help to limit the release of exhaust fumes or sewage and
to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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reduce deforestation as well.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to investing more in technological advances in order to mitigate these environmental problems.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

: about two years ago, the government of Canada issued a law on the conservation of natural
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the use of certain amounts by law, and after some time
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method was effective. In conclusion, the reason for the overuse of natural
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is that people sacrifice these
resources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their own income without thinking about nature, and governments should certainly implement a range of measures to preserve natural
resources
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and save the environment.

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. However, it lacks clarity in presenting the writer's viewpoint. It would be better to clearly state whether the writer agrees or disagrees and then provide reasons and examples to support the viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. Make sure to use transitional phrases to connect ideas and create a smoother flow between paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and uses some academic language appropriately. To enhance the lexical resource, try using more varied vocabulary and academic expressions to strengthen the arguments and make the essay more sophisticated.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures and the sentences are generally well-formed. However, there are some grammatical errors and inconsistencies throughout the essay. Take extra care to proofread the essay and check for subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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