Some people think that the government should use extra money to fund programs to improve the environment. Others think that it is better for the government to spend money to support artistic programs. Which option do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Contrary to other opinions, the government of a society have more roles to play than they seem to acknowledge.
While
a number of citizens have the perception that the government should have a separate budget to fund programs that will improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, the rest think they should rather support the growth of
art oriented
Add a hyphen
art-oriented
show examples
programs.
This
essay will explain why I prefer the financial investment in
art oriented
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art-oriented
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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better.
Firstly
, it will save on cost and
secondly
if well managed,funding the artistic projects is geared towards individual empowerment
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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also
means a better
environment
. It is more
budget friendly
Add a hyphen
budget-friendly
show examples
for the political administration of a society. Because most community development projects necessitate millions of gross income, a cheaper alternative is available which will still be of benefit to the civilisation.
For
example
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example,
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when the
vision
Capitalize word
Vision
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2010 plan for Nigeria kickstarted in 2007, the
then
administration of President Yaradua estimated 10 billion
naira
Change to a plural noun
nairas
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which was almost half of the nation's national income meanwhile an alternative like TY Bello's photography scheme only required 25% of the same amount. If frugal decisions are not made other areas of a country's development would suffer the consequences. Artistic programs that focus on individual development and empowerment will ultimately be of benefit to the
environment
in the long run. Though it may not seem like it at the beginning, a popular saying goes
thus
: " empower an individual and you empower a nation". Only motivated and patriotic citizens will consider
their
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the
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improvement and betterment of their vicinities so it is high time the investment in Human Resources and
skills
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Skills
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is practised. A perfect example was the contributions made by
governor
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Governor
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Ambode in 2019
into
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to
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Goethe
pottery institute
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Pottery Institute
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,
this
scheme ended up generating thousands of youths
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
started their own businesses and in
fact
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fact,
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went ahead to support other
non governmental
Add a hyphen
non-governmental
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organisations. In
summary
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summary,
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funding artists can improve the
environment
. In conclusion,we may never have closure on the
long debated
Add a hyphen
long-debated
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issue
on
Change preposition
of
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whether larger sums of money should be pumped into the economy or into artistic organisations but
this
essay has been able to explain why the latter option is
cost friendly
Add a hyphen
cost-friendly
show examples
and that it
also
improves the
environment
.
Submitted by annodunowo on

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task response
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in the essay. Discuss why funding artistic programs is better than funding environmental programs in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay more effectively. Create clear topic sentences for each paragraph and use appropriate transition words to connect ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language. Avoid repetitive phrasing.
grammatical range
Improve your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate
  • allocate funds
  • environmental conservation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • protect wildlife
  • reduce pollution
  • promote sustainability
  • artistic development
  • cultural expression
  • creative industries
  • nurture talent
  • artistic innovation
  • enrich society
  • budget allocation
  • prioritize
  • public opinion
  • government responsibility
  • social welfare
  • public wellbeing
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