Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
According to
scientific statistics, there is a new lifestyle in up-to-date society to be separate from the other parts of families and/or live together with
their close friends. Some individuals consider that such
kind of changes may have detrimental effects on our future generation and society. This
essay will attempt to discuss both perspectives, positive and negative, by providing my personal viewpoint.
On the one hand, those who disagree with the above-mentioned tendency provide a few explanations to justify their viewpoint. So, first of all, it is essential to note that each family has a plethora of special features and individual habits, according to
which family members
used to live and communicate with each other. As a matter of fact, it is definitely true, that it needs a great workforce in order to save warm relationships between the family members
. As a consequence
, living together with
relatives may provide more opportunities to create close and trusting relationships among family members
.
On the other hand
, sometimes it inevitably depends on the family type and the members
' choice. As can be illustrated by other individuals, some parents prefer to live separately from their children in order to provide them with more freedom and consequently
give them an opportunity to take responsibility for their personal lives.
In conclusion, nevertheless
, there are a majority of detrimental reasons for the current trend, I am strongly convinced that this
is a normal process to have a separate place of life for every individual, depending on whether someone is alone or not. However
, in turn, parents ought to monitor their own children's lives in order to be sure that everything is perfect in their lives.Submitted by akhmedova.mb on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the question and presents both sides of the argument, which is good. However, there is a need for more detailed examples and explanations to fully support the points being made. Try to provide specific examples or case studies to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear, but the thesis statement can be improved to clearly state your opinion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports the thesis. Additionally, ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure but could be more cohesive. Use more transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas and make the writing smoother. Each paragraph should build upon the previous one.
coherence cohesion
For a stronger conclusion, summarize the main points and restate your thesis in a way that reflects the arguments made in the essay. The conclusion should provide a sense of closure.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover both positive and negative perspectives, showcasing a balanced approach to the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic of the essay, and the conclusion attempts to provide a final thought on the matter.
coherence cohesion
The language used is generally clear and appropriate for an academic essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.