New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think advantage outweigh diadvantages?

#household #appliances #time #women #work #home #children #mother #works #advantage #diadvantages

In the present situation, various appliances are available in the market to complete most of the daily household activities and it results in more leisure time for

women

Hence

, few of them continue their job and parallelly take care of their children.

This

essay explains the potential advantages of working

women

along with

my opinion on

this

Firstly

, the prominent pro will be financial stabilisation. In

this

current expensive world, it will be difficult to run a family with a single person's income so, both wife and husband should work to bear financial expenses.

Moreover

, working

women

get more respect in family and society compared to housewives.

Secondly

women

will get the opportunity to gain knowledge about society and suggest to their family the right path in both education and career.

Nevertheless

, with their busy schedule, they may not spend more time with family and it may lead to a combat connection between parent and child. In spite of the very few reasons, I think there are more advantages to female working in society.

For example

, my aunt is a software engineer and he is running her children

along with

office work. Now, they are living in their own house with a new Tesla car and she is the most respectful person in my relatives' family group.

To sum up

, there should not be gender inequality in the concept of raising children

instead

both parents should take equal responsibility to run the family.

This

could lead to a happy and healthy world.

Submitted by ssssss9999 on Wed Nov 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points.

task achievement

Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the richness of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think advantage outweigh diadvantages?

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