IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think that the government should increase the price of fattening foods to address this issue. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #government #price #foods #address
In light of mounting obesity in society, it is often proposed that raising junk
food
prices
 is the foremost of solving
this
 problem.
While
 acknowledging the reasons for
this
 proposal, I would argue that there are other superior solutions. Granted, proponents for increasing fattening
food
 costs might be given based on the basic economic principle of supply and demand. Higher
food
prices
, they say, would lead to a reduction in demand for high-fat
food
, which would be synonymous with a lower proportion of consumers.
However
,
this
 action would directly impact middle -and low-income earners as limitations in terms of finance they are facing.
In addition
, increasing
food
prices
,
on the other hand
, doesn’t affect rich ones, so it would contribute to the exacerbation of social inequal problems. Given the aforementioned limitations, I am convinced that the following measures would be more effective in dissuading people from consuming fattening foods and thereby curbing the obesity epidemic.
First,
it is imperative that nutritious education be added to the school’s curriculum and that more propaganda strategies be advertised broadly on every multimedia.
Such
 a measure should be executed in tandem with imposing more stringent regulations about the nutrition proportion of junk foods.
For example
, any fat-
food
 should have a scale in the index of fat elements and calories which buyers could have noted before deciding to buy.
Such
 drastic actions could go a long way towards encouraging people to stop or reduce eating fatty foods without raising the
prices
. To summarize, I would contend that imposing higher
prices
 for fat-
food
 would fail to prevent people from obesity and the better solutions are nutritious education and strictly requiring entrepreneurs to follow the nutritional information so that customers could understand well what they are going to buy.
Submitted by lantran180487 on

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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