IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Last month you had a holiday abroad where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn’t write earlier invite them to come and stay with you.

#month #holiday #friends #photos #didn’t
Dear All, I am glad to hear
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 you , and I
am apologise
Change the verb form
apologise
show examples
 I have not written
ealier
Correct your spelling
earlier
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
I was busy with my work to compensate
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 my absence
however
 I
control
Wrong verb form
controlled
show examples
 the situation badly . I have seen our photos during
visit
Correct pronoun usage
our visit
show examples
Japan
Change preposition
to Japan
show examples
 and memories back to me they all were awesome so I would like to thank you for that time we were enthusiastic and happy we made lots of memories it was a pleasure to accept
stay
Correct article usage
a stay
show examples
 in your house I explored new culture
also
 I increase my
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 about Japan.
It
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 would be grateful to
come
Add the preposition
come to
show examples
 our city to introduce my family and co-workers
moreover
 there will be a festival in the city
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, it is a good opportunity to visit me. Yours faithfully, Maryam
Submitted by luhana.chii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and organized structure throughout the letter. Use separate paragraphs to address different points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the greeting and closing of the letter to make it more appropriate for a formal letter. Use proper salutations and sign off.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Provide a clear response to all parts of the task prompt. Explain the reason for not writing earlier and extend the invitation to your friends.
lexical resource
Enhance the range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to enrich the letter.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: