IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. IELTS Bar Chart

#summarise #information #features #comparisons #ielts #bar
The bar chart illustrates how much
time
 was spent on
leisure
 activities during holidays by
tourists
 in four different countries, namely, China, America, Turkey, and Brazil in August 2019. The
leisure
 activities were going to the beaches, reading
books
, and visiting places.
Overall
, Chinese
tourists
 spent more
leisure
time
 reading
books
 than
tourists
 in the other three countries,
while
 Turkish and
Brazilian
tourists
 spent the same
time
 reading
books
 during their holiday
time
.
Also
, American, and Turkish
tourists
 spent the
time
 visiting places. Chinese
tourists
 spend the most
time
 reading
books
while
 on holiday which is about 8
hours
 of their
time
,
while
 American travelers spend just 3
hours
 less than Chinese. Four
hours
 are spent reading
books
 by Turkish and
Brazilian
tourists
.
Moreover
,
tourists
 who were visiting America, and Turkey spend the same
time
 visiting places which is 3
hours
, followed by
Brazilian
tourists
 just one less.
In addition
,
Brazilian
tourists
 had far the most
time
 spent by
tourists
 going to the beaches during their vacations compared to
tourists
 in the other three nations. In summary,
tourists
 who
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 the above-mentioned countries spend more
time
 reading
books
 and going to the beaches during their
leisure
time
.
Submitted by emission457 on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task. You have summarized the main features of the bar chart and made relevant comparisons. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. You have introduced the topic, provided an overview of the main features, and presented them in a coherent manner. However, try to provide more specific supporting information for your main points.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied. However, consider using more academic vocabulary to enhance the clarity and precision of your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good, with mainly accurate and appropriate use of tenses and sentence structures. However, pay attention to minor errors in sentence formation and word choice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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