IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. IELTS Bar Chart

The bar chart illustrates how much
time
Use synonyms
 was spent on
leisure
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 activities during holidays by
tourists
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 in four different countries, namely, China, America, Turkey, and Brazil in August 2019. The
leisure
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 activities were going to the beaches, reading
books
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, and visiting places.
Overall
Linking Words
, Chinese
tourists
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 spent more
leisure
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time
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 reading
books
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 than
tourists
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 in the other three countries,
while
Linking Words
 Turkish and
Brazilian
Use synonyms
tourists
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 spent the same
time
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 reading
books
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 during their holiday
time
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.
Also
Linking Words
, American, and Turkish
tourists
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 spent the
time
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 visiting places. Chinese
tourists
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 spend the most
time
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 reading
books
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while
Linking Words
 on holiday which is about 8
hours
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 of their
time
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,
while
Linking Words
 American travelers spend just 3
hours
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 less than Chinese. Four
hours
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 are spent reading
books
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 by Turkish and
Brazilian
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tourists
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tourists
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 who were visiting America, and Turkey spend the same
time
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 visiting places which is 3
hours
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, followed by
Brazilian
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tourists
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 just one less.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Brazilian
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tourists
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 had far the most
time
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 spent by
tourists
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 going to the beaches during their vacations compared to
tourists
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 in the other three nations. In summary,
tourists
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 who
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 the above-mentioned countries spend more
time
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 reading
books
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 and going to the beaches during their
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task. You have summarized the main features of the bar chart and made relevant comparisons. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. You have introduced the topic, provided an overview of the main features, and presented them in a coherent manner. However, try to provide more specific supporting information for your main points.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied. However, consider using more academic vocabulary to enhance the clarity and precision of your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good, with mainly accurate and appropriate use of tenses and sentence structures. However, pay attention to minor errors in sentence formation and word choice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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