Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
When they finish
university
, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a career or continue their education. While
there are some benefits to getting a profession straight after academy
, I would argue that it is better to go to college or Add an article
the academy
university
.
The option to start work straight after institution is attractive for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In this
way, they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. In terms of their career, young people who decide to find work rather than continue their studies may progress more quickly. They will have the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession. This
may lead to promotions and a successful career.
On the other hand
, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. Firstly
, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example
, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher, or lawyer without having a relevant degree. As a result
, university
graduates have access to more and better business opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications. Secondly
, the trade market is becoming increasingly competitive, and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people who do not have qualifications from a university
or college will not be able to compete.
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their careers if they continue their studies beyond the academy
level.Replace the word
academic
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on
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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear and relevant response to the prompt, illustrating both points of view and your personal perspective, which constitutes a complete response. You might consider exploring further the differences between specific jobs that do or do not require a university degree to make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Transitions and paragraphing are used effectively to guide the reader through the logical flow of ideas. However, strive to form stronger links between your main points and examples in some areas for better coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Your use of lexical resource is good, with precise vocabulary employed to present your ideas clearly. Try using a wider breadth of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate linguistic fluency and to make your essay more engaging.
Grammatical Range
You demonstrated a good use of a variety of grammatical structures and cohesively combined these to express your ideas. However, there were some instances where verb tenses or prepositions could have been used more accurately. Do invest more time in studying grammar rules and nuances.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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