With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree?

#development #communication #people #friends

this

era of advancing technology, communication has become easier for us humans as we can meet and greet virtually. Because of

this

, some argue that

people

will never have to go through solitary phases in their lives as it is possible to socialize through online platforms.

This

essay will argue why virtual communication may not be sufficient to get rid of

people

's loneliness. With technological progression, online networking has become more commonplace. In the past, maintaining distant communications was not as simple as it is now. Today, it is just within hand's reach as we can call or chat with

people

from even foreign lands and develop rapport with them. In fact, a recent study conducted by Patronus Service found that more than two-thirds of

people

they interviewed maintain close kinships with

people

they have connected through online servers, but never met in person. With all that considered,

however

, the virtual connection still cannot supersede relationships made through personal meetings and gatherings. When

people

frequently come in close proximity with each other, only

then

they can feel the real essence of bonding as it allows them to observe each other's countenances, attitudes, and personalities closely. These humane traits or qualities are not easily revealed in online meetings, and the effect is the absence of spiritual bonding.

Thus

people

making friends online can never get the fulfilment of true companionship. And I believe, eventually they will be left alone, without anyone really standing beside them in times of need.

To conclude

although

virtual communication has made it more flexible to make new connections,

people

can still feel lonely after making friends online, as these types of

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

Verb problem

have

show examples

only surfaced.

Submitted by arefinneloy1 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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Task achievement

The essay addresses the task prompt and presents arguments for why virtual communication may not be sufficient to eliminate loneliness. However, the supporting examples could be more specific and varied.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are organized coherently and the essay flows well. However, there could be more clarity and development in connecting the main points.

Lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with varied word choices. However, there is room for improvement in using more specific and precise language to express ideas.

Grammatical range

The essay shows a reasonably good command of grammatical structures with few errors. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence structures and minor grammatical mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
geographical gaps
interact
social media platforms
messaging apps
revolutionized
physical distance
online communities
camaraderie
immediate surroundings
unparalleled opportunities
superficial relationships
excessive reliance
emotional warmth
tactile comfort
digital communication
digital divide
internet censorship
global connectivity

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With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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