IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - explain why you think your friend would enjoy camping - describe some possible disadvantages - say whether you would like to go camping with your friend

#friend #holiday #summer #advice
Dear Kara, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I'm writing to share with you some impressions of hiking in 2014 and 2016 with my father in the middle strip of Russia. Ah, we used to go fishing a lot when I was younger. Well, speaking of your camping, the best part for me is the ability to meet a bunch of wildlife, especially at night. I took a lot of photos of stunning bugs with colourful backs and wings, but my favourite one is a selfie with a red fox. I called her Monica, and she came to our camp several times seeking food. I made a silly mistake during my first trip and picked fashionable shoes
instead
 of sneakers. Oh my god, It was a torture. I had been walking in it for three days before I admitted my mistake and asked my dad to give me his spare boots. Don't be like me, take care of comfortable shoes with flexible soles. Ah, It's so unfair, that I can't go with you
due to
this
 Alaska family trip. I love my grandma, but I see you so rarely… I really hope to spend some time with you in October, when you come to visit your dad. Say hi to your mom, and tell her that I'm eager to try her new cherry pie, which she posted on Instagram yesterday. Hope to see you soon darling, love you. Sara
Submitted by 8453525 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout the letter.
coherence cohesion
Improve the greeting and closing of the letter to make it more appropriate.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Use a variety of sentence types and structures to showcase your language skills.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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