Should the government support artists, such as musicians, writers, and painters? Is it economically beneficial or is it just waste of money? Why or why not?

#government #support #artists #musicians #writers #painters #waste #money

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Some individuals contend the notion that encouraging authority to several celebrities,

such

Linking Words

as musicians, authors, and painters would be beneficial to increasing the economy of some regions. I argue the standpoint that it will be detrimental to the government economically.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss several reasons why the government should not backing well-known society. Famous individuals are financially stable.

To begin

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with, artists with numerous talents could earn an amount of money by showing their talents. They could earn

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

easily rather than

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

in general. One example is an artist who has the ability as an author and has numerous books that are already known by the public around the world, they might have

completely

Add an article

a completely

show examples

huge opportunity to earn more payment by selling their books.

Moreover

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, if they were not as famous as celebrities but had the capacity as a writer, they still could make more money

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than other

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

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who do not have the ability to.

Therefore

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, the authority does not need to spend

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

on them. Another thing is that celebrities could be famous for their own creation. First of all, artists’ work could attract

public’public’

Correct your spelling

public public

attention by doing anything that they could do. By doing

this

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, people around the world would likely pay attention to them and be more likely to

backing

Change the form of the verb

back

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them.

Furthermore

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, the support of the public might be supplying them with some

check

Fix the agreement mistake

checks

show examples

For instance

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, if they do live on TikTok and attract several followers to watch their video,

then

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their followers could give them

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

while

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they are live on the app. In conclusion, there are two reasons why the government should not

backing

Wrong verb form

back

show examples

well-known

Correct article usage

the well-known

show examples

public.

First,

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they are already financially stable and the second one is they could easily attract people’s attention to earn more salary.

Submitted by musa.nuwa on Thu Nov 02 2023

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task response

You have provided a partial response to the task. While you argue that government support for artists would be detrimental to the economy, you have not fully developed this argument or addressed the potential benefits that proponents of government support may argue. Consider presenting a more balanced argument and providing evidence and analysis to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, your arguments lack coherence and cohesion. Make sure to use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is satisfactory, but lacks variety and sophistication. Try to incorporate more diverse and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay's lexical resource.

grammatical range

Your grammatical range is limited, with several errors in sentence structure and verb tense. Pay closer attention to your grammar and revise your sentences for clarity and accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Should the government support artists, such as musicians, writers, and painters? Is it economically beneficial or is it just waste of money? Why or why not?

Your opinion

Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Evil, wicked, spoiled.

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?