IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowdays the Indonesian government make a new rule that elementary students are forbidden to bring a handphone in the school.

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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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 the government
state
Verb problem
has
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 a new
rule
Use synonyms
 regarding
students
Use synonyms
 in elementary
school
Use synonyms
 are forbidden to bring a gizmo
in
Change preposition
into
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it is because
a
Change preposition
of a
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decreasing number of elementary
students
Use synonyms
 who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
Use synonyms
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
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 based on national
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the new
rule
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 can
be led
Wrong verb form
lead
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into
Change preposition
to
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 detrimental effects related to
technology
Use synonyms
 skills and
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
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process
Use synonyms
. With
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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 to the cause,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 Ministry of Education in Indonesia
state
Wrong verb form
stated
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 the data that over 70%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
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 in elementary
school
Use synonyms
 can not achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
Use synonyms
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in national
standardize
Replace the word
standardisation
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. It is because the
school
Use synonyms
 allow the
students
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 to bring a gadget
in
Change preposition
to
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 the class. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the
students
Use synonyms
 have
lose
Change the verb form
lost
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 focus through the learning
process
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, and they can not achieve the objectives of
learning
Add an article
the learning
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process
Use synonyms
, having a good
grade
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.
This
Linking Words
 condition put into a gist issue among the citizens.
As a result
Linking Words
, a gizmo will
forbid
Wrong verb form
be forbidden
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 to bring to the
school
Use synonyms
 by the
students
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.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 condition can lead
into
Change preposition
to
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 positive effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the
students
Use synonyms
 are forbidden to bring a gadget, it will allow them to have more focus in the learning
process
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
students
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 have no reason to do not keep
on
Correct your spelling
an
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 eye
in
Change preposition
on
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 the class because they have not
an
Remove the article
apply
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interesting stuff to play with.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
event
Correct your spelling
even
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 though some contend that bringing a gizmo is important because it can improve student skills in
technology
Use synonyms
, I
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 agree with that. The
students
Use synonyms
 can improve
the
Change the word
their
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technology
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 through computer
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 in the
school
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the new
rule
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 is made because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there is a problem with decreasing
students
Use synonyms
’
Use synonyms
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in elementary
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
rule
Use synonyms
 will bring positive effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 effective learning and improving
technology
Use synonyms
 skills.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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