Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.
In today's world, leisure activities and
favorite
habits are gradually forgotten from Change the spelling
favourite
people
's lives . This
problem is becoming more widespread in our community these days . This
essay will examine the causes as well as
the effects related to this
tendency.
There are a variety of different causes for this
matter . To begin
with, most people
now prefer working to spending time
on their hobbies . The main reason for this
is they think that finances are the most important thing in daily life, so they ignore any entertainment and their own happiness. For example
, according to
surveys of adults, almost 100 percent
say that they often use their Change the spelling
per cent
time
at the workplace more than parks
and malls . Change preposition
at parks
In addition
, another cause is the routine of using social media of the grown person . Recently, the phone or the laptop can bring joy for everyone by
social apps , watching movies and a lot of other things so Change preposition
through
people
don't need to carry about their habits anymore. For instance
, after a long day of work, everybody just wants to go home and spend time
on their mobile devices .
Unexpectedly, there are some serious effects to be taken into consideration. The first and the
most important thing is that the health of Correct article usage
apply
people
is being destroyed. When adults always focus on work , they will forget to take care of themselves and it can be dangerous for health. For instance
, a
grown person does not take Correct word choice
if a
time
for exercise , therefore
the body will be weakened. Another effect no less important is that the community becomes indifferent and cold towards each other because they only communicate via phone . When humans are being
engrossed in making money and using social networks unconsciously will directly affect the whole community around us. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, now everyone is texting and calling with
friends, no more hanging out at the cinema or going to play sports.
In conclusion, the amount of Change preposition
apply
time
people
's habits are reduced is a big problem that affects a lot of people
nowadays . It's mainly caused by grown people
who prefer financial
rather than happiness and the joy of social media . From what has been discussed, Replace the word
finances
the
health will be weakened and adults no longer care about loved ones or pay attention to the society they live in .These are the effects that need worrying.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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Task Response
Your essay addresses the question prompt and provides a clear response. However, you could provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. The logical structure of your paragraphs is generally clear. However, you could improve the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate and shows a range of vocabulary. However, you could strive to use more precise and varied vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
Grammatical Range
Your essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are some minor grammatical errors that can be corrected with careful proofreading.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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