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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about values (NZ$) of the exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012.

The table below gives information about values (NZ$) of the exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012.
The table illustrates the variations in the values of the imports of
kiwi
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 fruit from five different countries from 2010 to 2012, in millions of New
Zealand
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dollars
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
money
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 that
Japan
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, China, and Russia spent on imported
kiwi
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 from New
Zealand
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 soared,
Mexico
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 and
Saudi
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Arabia
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 witnessed the opposite trend, with
Japan
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 being the biggest importer. In detail, the amount of
money
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 that
Japan
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 spent on imported
kiwi
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 from New
Zealand
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 soared from 271 to 325 between 2010 and 2012, followed by China
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 increased by 20
million
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dollars
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 from 74
million
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dollars
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the period between 2010 and 2012
also
Linking Words
 witnessed an upward trend from 968 thousand
dollars
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 to over 2
million
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dollars
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 in the figure for Russia.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
Japan
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, China, and Russia allocated more
money
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 for imported
kiwi
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 from New
Zealand
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, the opposite was true for
Mexico
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 and
Saudi
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Arabia
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. In 2010, the amount of
money
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 that New
Zealand
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 received from exported
kiwi
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 to
Mexico
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 and
Saudi
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Arabia
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 was 6
million
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dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 and 290 thousand
dollars
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respectively
Rephrase
apply
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,
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
 these two figures went through a period of dramatical
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
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 in 2012, which stood at 3,3
million
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dollars
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 for
Mexico
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 and 82 thousand
dollars
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 for
Saudi
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Arabia
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kiwi, zealand, dollars, money, japan, mexico, saudi, arabia, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "soared" was used 2 times.
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