Write about the following topic: Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #students #life #careers #study #occupations #school #subjects

It is a common belief that teenagers should spend more time training professional

skills

for their adult lives,

while

I believe that exploring interests in a more widespread way would be more beneficial for young adults. My opinions will be discussed in

further

paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. On the one hand, some people assume that the more unique

skills

a person has, the higher the possibility that person would not be able to be replaced.

Such

as cooking or manufacturing

skills

Secondly

, the practical

skills

, which they are authentically interested in, could not only help them have more learning motivation but

also

help them reallocate time to have enough rest time after school days.

Thirdly

, putting more effort into vocational training

instead

of every field’s lesson could help reduce the massive pressure caused by school tasks.

For instance

, more and more research indicates that there is a higher risk for highly educated people suffering from depression.

On the other hand

, it is difficult for the new generation to decide their future perspective nowadays. To be more specific, new occupations keep breaking out in recent years with ever-changing technology. It is almost impossible to ensure which jobs will not be replaced.

For example

, CHAT-GPT is gradually overtaking copywriters and translators.

As a result

, I would argue that it is wiser to establish all-around foundations by learning all regular subjects designed by the school to face the rapidly changing modern days. In conclusion, I firmly believe that regular subjects should not be optional in young-generation classrooms.

Submitted by vincent3725416 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the main point of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by providing a clear statement of your position and summarizing your main points.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

255 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write about the following topic: Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Write about the following topic: The secret to success in life. Getting the right qualifications Contacts You should explain which factor is more important in achieving success, giving reasons to support your answer.

Some parents believe that they should protect their children from doing any mistakes while others believe they should make mistakes freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?