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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, the population of older people is steadily in creasing. Dose this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

#countries #population #people #dose #trend #effects #society
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Technology change and increasing personal wealth have contributed to the improvement of life expectations, and many countries have seen their
population
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 ageing at an unprecedented pace. The
problems
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 of
this
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 demographic change far outweigh its positive impact. One problem related to
population
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 ageing is that medical costs will increase dramatically and hurt the economy. The need for medical care
as well as
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 the spending on it tends to increase with age. Elderly
people
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 are prone to health
problems
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such
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 as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer, so a country with a large
population
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 of
people
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 over 65 has to increase its expenditure on medical services to treat age-related
problems
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.
This
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 will lead to a budget cut for education, intrastate projects, and scientific research, which can affect society adversely not only in the quality of life but
also
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 in long-term economic growth. Another problem is that the productivity of the whole county will drop as the number of senior citizens increases. An ageing society tends to suspend the retirement age to keep the pension scheme running, older
people
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 make up a large portion of the workforce in these countries. These older
people
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however
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 struggle from declined memory capacity and other conditions which can limit their ability to process information and handle work. If they delay retirement, their poor performance may harm the company's profitability.
This
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 can result in the economic
problems
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 mentioned earlier and hurt social progress.
on the other hand
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, it is possible to tap into the wisdom and experience of the elderly. Having worked for decades, they are experts in their field of work and have practical experience, specialist knowledge, and work-related tips that they can share with younger generations.
For example
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, senior business managers can teach young
people
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 how to manage a company and deal with complaints and questions from clients. In conclusion, a rapidly ageing
population
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 can impose a strain on the medical system and reduce the productivity of a country. these issues are not easy to be tackled
although
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 the wisdom of elderly
people
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 can yield benefits for society.
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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your position on whether the trend of increasing older population has positive or negative effects on society. This will strengthen your task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with a more coherent and cohesive logical structure. Use clear transitions between paragraphs to ensure smooth flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words and phrases to express your ideas. This will enhance your lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, and ensure correct subject-verb agreement and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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