Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,

as a result

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of the needs and requirements in the New World, it has become much talked about that students should receive training in practical subjects

such

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as car repair and bank account management in order to prepare for the future. In my opinion, parallel to

this

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and even

in addition

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to these, I think cooking should be added to the educational content. In

this

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essay, I will try to explain my views on the relevant issues and various community approaches.

To begin

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with, rather than seeing car repair as a need for practical training, we should approach it as a situation where the child shows solution ideas to a problem.

Moreover

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, these experiences gained at a young age will both increase self-confidence and provide competencies with the experience of researching different sources to access information. Efforts to reach the root cause will not only provide different support but will

also

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contribute to teamwork.

For instance

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one of the most important soft characteristics in today's universe is the harmony within the team shown in teamwork.

In addition

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, with the training to be received in the field of bank account management, they will have to face difficult struggles in many topics

such

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as budget approach, money retention and investment, from a young age.

Moreover

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, with an entrepreneurial perspective, more free individuals will be raised, and

this

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will contribute positively to the development of societies. Understanding the functioning of the economy will provide an environment for gaining more analytical perspectives in future opportunities and will be the primary factor in eliminating uncertainties. In conclusion,

it is clear that

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new practical training and different infrastructures that can provide

this

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are needed for students to be solution-oriented and share in a better future. In order to create

this

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basis, not only schools but

also

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the state and family members must fulfil their responsibilities as stakeholders.

salihzekikoniThu Nov 02 2023

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task achievement

Provide more in-depth analysis and examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical flow from one paragraph to another and use appropriate transitional phrases.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary, including more academic and precise terms.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation errors.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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