IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

iInternational travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

#travel #countries #doors #tourists #tourism
The cost of international
travel
 is decreasing and
countries
 are willing to see more and more tourists visiting. In my opinion,
although
this
 phenomenon
brings
Verb problem
has
show examples
 some negative influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local residents, the advantages for the development of
countries
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more prominent. On the one hand, cheaper international
travel
 and the welcome by
countries
 promote the development of the
countries
. First and foremost, more
people
 will choose to
travel
 abroad because of the downward cost and the ovation of the
countries
. That means that more communication of culture and
people
 between different
countries
 is happening, which will make them know more about each other so that they can learn
each
Change preposition
from each
show examples
 other and make progress. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, more influx of tourists will boost the tourism and the economy of the
countries
.
People
 who come to a place first time are more likely to buy some local
characteristc
Correct your spelling
characteristic
 foods and souvenirs.
On the other hand
, more tourists are coming
affects
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
 the normal life of the local residents. If more
people
travel
 to one place will make the place overcrowded, especially
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 some
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
. Because of too many travellers, the local commuters may not be able to take the subway or bus, and
then
 they will be late to go to work. Another impact is for the local prices of something, which may go up noticeably. The number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 is rising, so the requirement of consumption
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend, and merchants will catch
this opportunities
Change the determiner
this opportunity
these opportunities
show examples
 and rise in prices,
such
 as cuisine in restaurants, rooms in hotels and so on. In conclusion, the benefits brought by cheaper internal
travel
 and the welcome by
countries
 are more significant, even though the drawbacks of affecting the local
people
 are unavoidable.
Submitted by huangzijun2293 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main points effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: