Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss bothviews and give your opinion.

#people #success #work #determination #connection #money #appearance #bothviews

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People hold different

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

about whether

success

Use synonyms

is determined by hard work and persistence or money and personal looks.

This

Linking Words

passage will discuss

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

and cons of claiming each perspective. On the one hand, some citizens believe that the accessibility to

gain

Verb problem

apply

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financial and physical assistance leads to someone's achievement. These supports can give a person more privilege to easily connect with a community owning greater social status.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

cannot

stays

Change the verb form

stay

show examples

forever if an individual does not have

ability

Change the article

the ability

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to adapt towards

dynamic

Correct article usage

the dynamic

show examples

environmental changes of

such

Linking Words

groups. To illustrate, a lady who

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

most of her money

to purchase

Change the verb form

purchasing

show examples

luxury brands

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

to struggle more

Change preposition

with

show examples

her

futurue

Correct your spelling

future

financial condition compared to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

similar cohort

whom

Change the pronoun

who

show examples

has

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

show examples

capability to buy branded stuff regularly.

Hence

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success

Use synonyms

through

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

way would only be enjoyed temporarily.

In contrast

Linking Words

, others claim that accomplishment is

highy

Correct your spelling

highly

influenced by diligence and determination

sticking

Change the verb form

to stick

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

a person's character. To explain

further

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

characters do not have countable measurement, leading to

create

Change the verb form

creating

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a personal expectation that cannot be compared to anyone else.

As a result

Linking Words

, people striving through

this

Linking Words

mentality tend to achieve more material gains than the ones who solely define

success

Use synonyms

with visible things.

For instance

Linking Words

, Mark Zuckerberg,

Correct article usage

the

show examples

founding father of Facebook, placed consistency over profitability to realize that

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

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that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can help a larger society.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I believe that

success

Use synonyms

is not assessed with anything that

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

anyone can see except the mentality to struggle over challenges and threats.

This

Linking Words

perception is proven more sustainable and

entice

Correct subject-verb agreement

entices

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better money, title, and appearance.

Submitted by raviandrakanty on Thu Nov 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraphs are logically connected.

coherence cohesion

Provide a more concise and focused introduction and conclusion that clearly state your main points and opinion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

success
hard work
determination
money
personal appearance
achievement
effort
perseverance
financial wealth
luxuries
material possessions
self-esteem
self-confidence
happiness

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Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss bothviews and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people believe that manufacturers should be responsible for reducing the large amounts of packaging they use. Others say consumers should avoid buying heavily packaged items. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree ordisagree?

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?