Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss bothviews and give your opinion.
People hold different
view
about whether Fix the agreement mistake
views
success
is determined by hard work and persistence or money and personal looks. This
passage will discuss pros
and cons of claiming each perspective.
On the one hand, some citizens believe that the accessibility to Correct article usage
the pros
gain
financial and physical assistance leads to someone's achievement. These supports can give a person more privilege to easily connect with a community owning greater social status. Verb problem
apply
Nevertheless
, this
cannot stays
forever if an individual does not have Change the verb form
stay
ability
to adapt towards Change the article
the ability
dynamic
environmental changes of Correct article usage
the dynamic
such
groups. To illustrate, a lady who spend
most of her money Change the verb form
spends
to purchase
luxury brands Change the verb form
purchasing
tend
to struggle more Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
on
her Change preposition
with
futurue
financial condition compared to Correct your spelling
future
the
similar cohort Correct article usage
a
whom
has Change the pronoun
who
huge
capability to buy branded stuff regularly. Correct article usage
a huge
Hence
, the
Correct article usage
apply
success
through
Change preposition
in
this
way would only be enjoyed temporarily.
In contrast
, others claim that accomplishment is highy
influenced by diligence and determination Correct your spelling
highly
sticking
Change the verb form
to stick
into
a person's character. To explain Change preposition
to
further
, such
characters do not have countable measurement, leading to create
a personal expectation that cannot be compared to anyone else. Change the verb form
creating
As a result
, people striving through this
mentality tend to achieve more material gains than the ones who solely define success
with visible things. For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg, a
founding father of Facebook, placed consistency over profitability to realize that Correct article usage
the
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
that
can help a larger society.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To conclude
, I believe that success
is not assessed with anything that what
anyone can see except the mentality to struggle over challenges and threats. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
perception is proven more sustainable and entice
Correct subject-verb agreement
entices
a
better money, title, and appearance.Remove the article
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraphs are logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more concise and focused introduction and conclusion that clearly state your main points and opinion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?