Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution.

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There is no denying the fact that obesity has a significant impact on our society. It is a commonly held belief that being overweight affects children badly all over the world.

This

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essay will discuss the doable solutions for it.

To begin

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with, there are many settings for

this

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issue.

Firstly

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, we all know that obesity is harmful not just to kids but

also

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to their community.

In other words

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, it reduces kids' confidence and fills them with shamaness for their body life.

Additionally

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, every person should bear the weight and take responsible steps to tackle

this

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problem.

For example

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, the government should encourage huge institutions especially educational ones to share people's stories and improve their environment to talk more about

this

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thing. Another point to consider is that people's lifestyle plays a big part in their children's fitness. It is

also

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possible to say that starting to use bicycles and spending more hours outside your home with your kids, will give them remarkable memories and could lead them to change their view about their bodies.

Moreover

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, when the government decrease the organic food's price,

this

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will give all the citizens, the opportunity to start the healthy lifestyle that they desire.

For instance

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, Korea has massive street shops that provide multiple choices of vegetables for their meals, and uplift them to match young people's type. In conclusion, I believe that children are our message in

this

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life, so we should take serious steps toward them,

Although

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I have mentioned only two ways, there are many more.

Submitted by rayan on Thu Nov 02 2023

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task response

Provide a more focused response to the task prompt by clearly stating the solutions to address childhood obesity. Make sure to address both the causes and effects of obesity as well.

coherence cohesion

Create a stronger logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Start with an introduction that states the purpose of the essay clearly and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and offers a final thought.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and phrases to express your ideas. This will help to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar usage. Make sure to use a variety of sentence types and structures, and review your work for any errors or inconsistencies.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both themanyse views and give you own opinion

ome people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You have just moved to a new place. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter. -tell him/her you moved and why you moved -describe the new place -invite your friend to visit and suggest what to do.