Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution.

#obesity #world #impacts #children

There is no denying the fact that obesity has a significant impact on our society. It is a commonly held belief that being overweight affects children badly all over the world.

This

essay will discuss the doable solutions for it.

To begin

with, there are many settings for

this

issue.

Firstly

, we all know that obesity is harmful not just to kids but

also

to their community.

In other words

, it reduces kids' confidence and fills them with shamaness for their body life.

Additionally

, every person should bear the weight and take responsible steps to tackle

this

problem.

For example

, the government should encourage huge institutions especially educational ones to share people's stories and improve their environment to talk more about

this

thing. Another point to consider is that people's lifestyle plays a big part in their children's fitness. It is

also

possible to say that starting to use bicycles and spending more hours outside your home with your kids, will give them remarkable memories and could lead them to change their view about their bodies.

Moreover

, when the government decrease the organic food's price,

this

will give all the citizens, the opportunity to start the healthy lifestyle that they desire.

For instance

, Korea has massive street shops that provide multiple choices of vegetables for their meals, and uplift them to match young people's type. In conclusion, I believe that children are our message in

this

life, so we should take serious steps toward them,

Although

I have mentioned only two ways, there are many more.

Submitted by rayan on Thu Nov 02 2023

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task response

Provide a more focused response to the task prompt by clearly stating the solutions to address childhood obesity. Make sure to address both the causes and effects of obesity as well.

coherence cohesion

Create a stronger logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Start with an introduction that states the purpose of the essay clearly and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and offers a final thought.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and phrases to express your ideas. This will help to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar usage. Make sure to use a variety of sentence types and structures, and review your work for any errors or inconsistencies.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Details of politicians private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these reviews and give your own opinion.

Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?