The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

#show #sale #five #kinds #jam

this

line graph

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

the data about ow sale

Change preposition

of strawbary

show examples

strawbary

Correct your spelling

strawberry

respberry

Correct your spelling

raspberry

grape

plum

and cherry jams

Change preposition

from

show examples

2009 to 2014. It is clear from the graph that almost

strawbary

Correct your spelling

strawberry

respberry

Correct your spelling

raspberry

grape

and

respberry

Correct your spelling

raspberry

sale

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased except

plum

was

decreasd

Correct your spelling

decreased

decrease

Change preposition

from

show examples

2009 to 2014.

According to

what

Add a missing verb

is shwon

show examples

shwon

Correct your spelling

shown

, the

grape

ries rapidlly

Correct your spelling

rose rapidly

from 0.5% to 4.5 per cent

Change preposition

from

show examples

2009 -2014.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

plum

was reverse

grape

it decreased

gradully

Correct your spelling

gradually

around 3.8% in 2009 until zero percentage in 2014.

Moreover

, charry in

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

years

waas

Correct your spelling

was

1.9% but it

was go

Wrong verb form

went

show examples

up to 2.5% after one

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

Then

fall

Wrong verb form

fell

show examples

to 2 rates in 2014. After

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

climed

Correct your spelling

claimed

climbed

2.9

Correct article usage

a 2.9

show examples

ratio

Change to a plural noun

ratios

show examples

in the ed of

pirod

Correct your spelling

period

Whereas

, the

strawbary

Correct your spelling

strawberry

and

respberry

Correct your spelling

raspberry

were increased

sightly

Correct your spelling

slightly

show examples

in 2009 to 2012.

Then

, the

strawbary

Correct your spelling

strawberry

jam

jump

Wrong verb form

jumped

show examples

from 4

percentage

Replace the word

per cent

show examples

to 7 per cent.

However

respberry

Correct your spelling

raspberry

was almost remain constant in 2012 to 2014.

To sum up

, we could say that the

strawbary

Correct your spelling

strawberry

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

from 2009 to 2012 , and

plum

Correct article usage

the plum

show examples

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

lowest

Correct article usage

the lowest

show examples

Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on Thu Nov 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words strawbary, respberry, grape, plum with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

When choosing a job, salary is the most important decision. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while other believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss bothe these views and give your own opinion

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree.