IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.
#show #sale #five #kinds #jam
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
this
Linking Words
 line graph
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the data about ow sale
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of strawbary
show examples
strawbary
Correct your spelling
strawberry
,
Use synonyms
respberry
Correct your spelling
raspberry
,
grape
Use synonyms
,
plum
Use synonyms
 and cherry jams
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2009 to 2014. It is clear from the graph that almost
Use synonyms
strawbary
Correct your spelling
strawberry
,
Use synonyms
respberry
Correct your spelling
raspberry
,
grape
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
respberry
Correct your spelling
raspberry
 sale
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased except
plum
Use synonyms
 was
decreasd
Correct your spelling
decreased
decrease
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2009 to 2014.
According to
Linking Words
 what
Add a missing verb
is shwon
show examples
shwon
Correct your spelling
shown
, the
grape
Use synonyms
ries rapidlly
Correct your spelling
rose rapidly
 from 0.5% to 4.5 per cent
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2009 -2014.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
plum
Use synonyms
 was reverse
grape
Use synonyms
 it decreased
gradully
Correct your spelling
gradually
 around 3.8% in 2009 until zero percentage in 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
, charry in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 years
waas
Correct your spelling
was
 1.9% but it
was go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up to 2.5% after one
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
,
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to 2 rates in 2014. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
climed
Correct your spelling
claimed
climbed
 to
2.9
Correct article usage
a 2.9
show examples
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
 in the ed of
pirod
Correct your spelling
period
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
strawbary
Correct your spelling
strawberry
 and
Use synonyms
respberry
Correct your spelling
raspberry
 were increased
sightly
Correct your spelling
slightly
show examples
 in 2009 to 2012.
Then
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
strawbary
Correct your spelling
strawberry
 jam
jump
Wrong verb form
jumped
show examples
 from 4
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 to 7 per cent.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
respberry
Correct your spelling
raspberry
was almost remain constant in 2012 to 2014.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the
Use synonyms
strawbary
Correct your spelling
strawberry
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 from 2009 to 2012 , and
Use synonyms
plum
Correct article usage
the plum
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
.
Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words strawbary, respberry, grape, plum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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