The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

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In future years, the global population´s health will deteriorate.

This

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essay will aim to agree with

this

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statement, given the fact that

obesity

Use synonyms

is a common comorbidity amongst

people

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in different age groups,

as well as

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chronic nicotine abuse in vaping devices.

Obesity

Use synonyms

is one of the most concerning diseases in the world and its incidence is rapidly increasing,

due to

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the fact that

people

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, nowadays, have bad eating habits, mainly because of all the fast and processed food that can easily be accessed and consumed.

Moreover

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people

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do not exercise for at least 30 minutes every day, creating the perfect environment for a sedentary lifestyle, in fact,

sedentarism

Correct your spelling

sedentaryism

is one of the main reasons for developing

obesity

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later in life.

This

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disease leads to other health-related problems

such

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as metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes, not only in adults but in children as well. The WHO (World Health Organization) states that 1 in every 3 children has a BMI (Body Mass Index) of over 30, which is considered grade 1

obesity

Use synonyms

. In the past few years, there has been a tendency to vape, especially in adolescents and young adults. These vaping devices contain a great amount of nicotine, making it harmful for

people

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using them.

Overall

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, with chronic usage, there is a good chance that teenagers or adults develop pulmonary disease or even cancer in the future. The NEJM (New England Journal of Medicine) has recently posted a clinical case of a 20-year-old male who suffered a cardiac arrest because of vaping. In conclusion, in the next future years,

people

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´s health will degenerate,

consequently

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, suffering from several diseases, with

obesity

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and high blood pressure being the main

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

of sedentarism and nicotine addiction.

Submitted by f.leyton.a on Fri Nov 03 2023

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Task Response

Your essay clearly addresses the topic and provides arguments supporting the idea that the average standard of people's health will be lower in the future. However, you could have provided a more balanced view by discussing any potential counterarguments or factors that may contribute to an improvement in health standards. Remember to fully address the prompt and cover both sides of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall. The logical structure is well-maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The paragraphs flow smoothly and each topic sentence is supported by relevant examples and evidence. However, you could improve the cohesion by using more transitional words and phrases to connect ideas throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource

Your essay shows a strong command of vocabulary and the use of appropriate terminology related to health and diseases. You effectively convey your ideas and arguments using a diverse range of vocabulary. However, be cautious of word choice and make sure to use specific and accurate terminology. Additionally, aim to vary your sentence structures to further showcase your lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of tenses. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect verb forms. Proofread your essay carefully to eliminate these errors and ensure the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. teacher need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all cost and go back to teaching basic study skills. do you agree or disagree?

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge, in the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. do you agree or disagree?