An increasing number of profectional such as teachers and doctors are leaving their own poooer countries to work in developing countries. What are the reasons for this trend?
These days, people working as professionals, namely doctors and teachers, are increasingly seeking better opportunities in developing states rather than their own poorer countries.
This
results in the lack of human resources for such
particular jobs in their home that may hamper the improvement of health and education quality there. In this
passage, I will discuss several reasons leading to this
occurrence.
First and foremost, such
occupation is supported by adequate workstation facilities in their host states due to
the authority's awareness towards improved pedagogy and healthcare system will lead to better economic growth. As a result
, the government tends to allocate its budget more to provide facilities to these sectors, which helps the
professional people to work on their stuff easily. To illustrate, a doctor working in South Korea has more capability to treat elder patients Correct article usage
apply
due to
more advanced medical technologies. Hence
, the life expectancy rate there is relatively longer than other cohorts.
On the other hand
, the authority has firmer regulations in granting a higher wage to those whose jobs as medical and educational staff. It does not only regulate greater money to them,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
additional amenities such
as housing procurement and learning opportunities. For instance
, teachers educating children in the eastern part of Indonesia are usually paid less, even for free. Consequently
, they tend to feel less secure in the long run by dedicating to the area, deciding
to leave the occupation to the host countries. Correct word choice
and deciding
Therefore
, reinforcing the remuneration scheme law is important to motivate them to stay in their home country.
To conclude
, better facilities and compensation are crucial to keeping the workforce doing their job in a particular place.Submitted by raviandrakanty on
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task response
Be sure to clearly identify and address all parts of the essay prompt. In this case, you should discuss the reasons why professionals like doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developing countries. Make sure to provide a balanced view and consider different perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay has a logical structure and the main points are supported with relevant examples. However, there could be a clearer introduction and conclusion. In the introduction, briefly outline the reasons you will discuss in the body paragraphs. In the conclusion, summarize the main points and provide a final thought.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic and topic-specific words. To further improve, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance your language.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few minor errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct use of articles. Proofreading your writing carefully can help you spot and correct these errors.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
