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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?

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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teaching and learning at school
has
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have
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 been over-reliant on
technology
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, which will turn
to
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out to
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 be a serious problem. From my point of view, it can cause some negative impact on the
behaviors
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behaviours
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 of children, and change the awareness about education, so
that
Correct determiner usage
a
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 solution like
actual
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an actual
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 class should be used for handling
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
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 with, one of the most associated
reason
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reasons
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 is the lack of critical thinking among children. In fact, some innovative
Use synonyms
technology
Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
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 can replace
human
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humans
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 in many
task
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tasks
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,
include
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including
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 thinking.
For example
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, some applications can help think and calculate the result
in
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of
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 a
students’
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student’s
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 assignment. So that it can be relied on for cheating. Another impact of overusing
technology
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 is
distraction
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a distraction
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. Each individual has at least one personal device
,
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apply
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 so that it is hard for the teacher to control the students’ activities in class. To illustrate,
student
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students
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 would rather play games or spend time on social
network
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networks
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 than use
it
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them
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 for learning.
Moreover
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,
instead
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 of improving students’ learning experience,
technology
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 disrupts their learning, affecting their academic results. To reduce its
affect
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effect
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, some solution has been created and some of them are
success
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successful
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.
For instance
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, lots of
school
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schools
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 has banned the
using
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use
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 of phones in
the
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apply
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class and
also
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 in many
part
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parts
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 of
school
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the school
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.
Besides
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it
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apply
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, technological devices which are not
in
Change preposition
on
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 the forbidden list are limited the time. At the societal level, promoting awareness can be effective.
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This
Correct determiner usage
These
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 actions will educate
individual
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individuals
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, especially children and adolescents, about the potential impact of excessive
technology
Use synonyms
 use. In conclusion,
technology
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 can
affect
Verb problem
cause
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 a lot of risks but still
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 sense when it is used for the right purpose. By promoting responsible use of these devices and building
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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healthy social interactions, it is possible to make
a good relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good relationship
good relationships
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 with
technology
Use synonyms
 in our modern century.

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task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are well-supported with explanations and evidence.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise terms.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of sentence structures and improve your grammatical accuracy.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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