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Band 6.5

Some people enjoy change, while others like their lives to stay the same. Compare these two approaches to life and present your opinion.

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Some prefer to live as they have lived for decades,
while
 others try to
change
 their lives with changing times. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approaches have their own pros and cons. Humans tend to resist
change
initially
 as risk factors creep in with trying new
things
. Living without
change
 and sticking to old habits gives us stability because we know what we will do next. Through
this
 fixed approach, people can avoid lots of mistakes as there is no experimentation. Doing familiar
things
 gives a comfort level and leads to success in its own way. Success needs constant hard work. If you instantly switch over to another thing, after facing a failure, it is definitely a lack of persistence in you and moves you away from striving for solutions.
On the other hand
, some people prefer to experience different
things
.
Change
 is sometimes inevitable for success. It requires a person to have
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 and daring to take risks.
Such
 people have a great positive attitude. They look forward to seeking new excitements and meeting new challenges in
this
 rapidly changing world.
Thus
, they get more opportunities to succeed. They say, "No risk, no profit."
For example
, a farmer who adopts new technologies are bound to reap more in less time and with less effort than a farmer who sticks to old, traditional methods. New
things
 simply bring new knowledge.
Tendency
Correct article usage
The tendency
show examples
 to
change
 makes a person adventurous and lively. It increases one's thinking power and helps him to become rational. When nothing stays the same and everything around us is in constant progress, why shouldn't we
change
? I believe
change
 is inevitable to keep pace with changing times. Those who do not
change
 are inflexible. They do not take chances and miss good opportunities which may never come again.
Submitted by marynchukangelina on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in your response. Make sure to clearly compare and present your opinion on the two approaches to life (staying the same and enjoying change).
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay displays a good level of coherence and cohesion. However, consider improving the introduction and conclusion by providing a concise summary and restating your opinion.
Lexical Resource
Your choice of vocabulary is appropriate and varied. Continue to use a range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range
Your grammatical range is satisfactory, with only a few minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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