IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentages of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentages of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentages #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
The diagram provides data on
ratio
Add an article
the ratio
show examples
 of residents living in urban areas
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia. The chart includes information for the time period between 1970 and 2020
as well as
prediction
Correct article usage
a prediction
show examples
 of the trend till the year 2040.
Overall
 the
percentage
 of people living in cities has experienced a huge
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 between 1970 and 2020. The biggest
growth
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries can be
spectated
Verb problem
seen
show examples
 in Malaysia, which
percentage
 started at approximately 30 and ended up being bigger than 80.
Moreover
, in each of these four
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 there was a constant
growth
 during
this
 period. The only
counry
Correct your spelling
country
 that hasn't experienced constant
growth
 was
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
. Its
percentage
 fell from a bit less than 50 to circa 40 between 1990 and 2010.
However
,
after
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 the numbers raised back to approximately 45 percent.
According to
 predictions, the upward trend will continue in the next 10 years.
However
, in
Thailand
Add a comma
Thailand,
show examples
 the
percentage
 is expected to grow at a more rapid pace than in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries.
Much
Correct article usage
A much
show examples
 lower tempo of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth
 was predicted for Malaysia.
Submitted by viacheslav.sydora on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, growth with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • changes over time
  • comparison
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • urbanization
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • rural areas
  • metropolitan areas
  • migration
  • industrialization
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: