IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

#nutrition #obesity #countries #people #tax #food
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Nowadays, a lot of
people
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 are consuming a great amount of fast
food
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due to
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 some reasons.
Thus
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, many countries are facing the
problem
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 of unhealthy
food
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 and being obese. And some
people
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 think that collecting taxes on fast
food
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 would help solve the issue. From my point of view, I partly agree with
this
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 statement since there are more effective ways to confront
this
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problem
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.
Initially
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, the rise
of
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in
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 the obesity rate is related to the use of fast
food
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. It is undebatable that some
people
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 choose to eat fast
food
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 because of its cheap price. So as to confront
this
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problem
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, a vital way is taxing
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apply
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
fast
food
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 and making it quite far-reached to some consumers.
However
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,
this
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 method could perhaps be effective for only the poor,
while
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with
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apply
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the rich who are attracted by its
flavor
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flavour
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, they would still pay more coins to eat fast
food
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.
Hence
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, the rate of obesity can decrease to a certain level but not much.
Moreover
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, lack of nutrition and getting fat are not only caused by fast
food
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 but
also
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 by
people
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. A lot of
people
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 get overweight because of their laziness and carelessness for themselves. They choose to eat unhealthy
food
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 and tend to sit in one place all the time which will lead to obesity. To handle
this
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,
people
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 should be encouraged to eat more vegetables and organic products. They should work out regularly to release the energy that they maintain
while
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 eating.
To sum up
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, a tax on fast
food
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 would help reduce the
problem
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about
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of
show examples
 nutrition and keeping fit.
However
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, I think it is more crucial to encourage
people
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 to take up healthy habits to gain a better lifestyle.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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