IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even during the holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

In some workplaces around the world, certain employers expect their staff to remain available for
work
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 at all times, even during holidays.
While
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this
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 approach may seem to increase productivity, I believe it is ultimately harmful to both
employees
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 and the long-term success of the company. From the employers' perspective, maintaining constant contact with staff might appear beneficial. They may assume that keeping
employees
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 under pressure leads to greater focus and higher output. In the short term,
this
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 might bring results.
For example
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, in highly competitive industries like finance or tech,
employees
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 often
work
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 long hours under strict deadlines.
However
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,
such
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 pressure is not sustainable. History has shown that pushing people too hard often leads to burnout and resistance.
Although
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 comparing
this
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 to feudal systems may be extreme, the basic principle holds:
when
Correct word choice
that when
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 people are overworked and undervalued, they eventually push back. In my opinion, expecting
employees
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 to be constantly available is both unethical and unproductive. Everyone has the legal and moral right to disconnect from
work
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 during their time off. Rest and recovery are essential for mental and physical health.
Employees
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 who are allowed to take real breaks
return
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to return
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 to
work
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 with renewed energy, better focus, and improved performance.
On the contrary
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, a tired and demotivated workforce leads to higher turnover rates and lower efficiency, which can seriously damage a company's reputation and profitability. In conclusion,
while
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 some employers believe that continuous availability improves productivity,
this
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 practice is more likely to lead to exhaustion and dissatisfaction. Respecting
employees
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' right to rest is not just fair—it is a smart strategy that supports long-term growth and success.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This could strengthen your points about employer expectations and employee burnout.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly ties back to your main argument and maintains a logical flow. Although the structure is generally strong, clearer transitions could improve the reader's experience.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents a clear thesis statement.
task achievement
You've successfully articulated the harmful effects of constant availability on employees, making your argument compelling and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Constant connectivity
  • Workplace availability
  • Crisis management
  • Decision-making
  • Competitive edge
  • Prompt response
  • Flexibility
  • Autonomy
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Personal time
  • Discontent
  • Morale
  • Productivity
  • Proper delegation
  • Team trust
  • Employee well-being
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