IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some
people
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 choose to get
information
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 from the
internet
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instead
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 of reading newspapers or watching TV
news
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 channels. From my perspective,
this
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 is a positive development in the modern world, and I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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 reasons in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, in the modern world
people
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 have a dynamic life. They always need
information
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that is
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 accessible and updated. The
Internet
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 offers a
lot
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 of
information
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 which are easy to access of
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is
news
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.
People
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 can read the
news
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 anywhere through their devices,
such
Linking Words
 as a smartphone or laptops, that are connected to the
internet
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.
Furthermore
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, journalists are raced to present the most updated
news
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 to their readers. Nowadays, a
lot
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 of journalists do a live session directly on the spot when they are presented with
news
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.
This
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 is
an evidence
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
show examples
 that
information
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 should be given as soon as possible.
Additionally
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, when individuals no longer read newspapers or watch TV it can have a good effect on the environment. Because they can reduce the consumption of paper or electricity and decrease the effect of climate change.
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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 can
also
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 bring a disadvantage. Importantly, not all sources of
news
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 on the
internet
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 are
creditable
Correct word choice
credible
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.
For instance
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, there are a
lot
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 of issues and opinions that need to be checked to whether they are correct or not. Especially during important events
such
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 as
presidential
Add an article
a presidential
the presidential
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 election.
Thus
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,
people
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 need to be careful when dealing with
information
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 on the
internet
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. In conclusion, choosing the
internet
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 as one of
sources
Add an article
the sources
show examples
 to get updated
information
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 or
news
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 is a positive action. The
Internet
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 offers accessible and updated
information
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. And it
also
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 can contribute to the environment. Getting
news
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 on the
internet
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also
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 poses a threat,
such
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 as a
lot
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 of hoaxes and incorrect
information
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.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized and follow a logical structure.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and sophisticated language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve your overall fluency.
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