Many countries celebrate Halloween or similar festivals at the end of October. Some people argue that these celebrations have a negative impact on cultural traditions, while others believe they promote creativity and community bonding. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Some argue that
Halloween
and similar festivities at the end
of October are becoming too commercialized, focusing more on costumes
and decorations than the original cultural and historical significance
. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this
statement? Support your opinion with examples and reasons.
Many people
argue that Halloween
and related festivities towards the end of October are becoming too commercialized, focusing more on decoration and apparat
than the original cultural and historical Correct your spelling
apparatus
significance
of it. I fully agree with this
statement.
I didn’t even know what the real significance
of Halloween
was before I made
research for Verb problem
did
this
essay. Halloween
dates back to 835 in Ireland and northern England, at the time it meant the end of summer and of
the harvest season and it was wildly associated with human death. Change preposition
apply
People
would carve pumpkins with scary faces and wear costumes
as well as
lighting
up bone fire to ward off the ghost of the dead that would apparently come out on Wrong verb form
light
halloween
night, it had a real meaning for the pagan Change the capitalization
Halloween
people
as it was a religious celebration. Trick or treating originally started with parents giving sweets to their children as a way of comforting them as they were scared.
On the other hand
, today, Halloween
is nothing more than a commercial festivity where people
buy futile decorations and costumes
. As much as I think Halloween decorated
streets are nice, it is ridiculous that in 2021 Americans spent over 500 million US dollars on Add a hyphen
Halloween-decorated
costumes
for their pets. October is the month where
the Correct word choice
when
candy
lobbyists are making the most money. Each year on Halloween
, Americans spend 3.6 billion dollars on various candy
bars and sweets. American kids now go door to door asking for mountains of candy
as
for a tradition that isn’t even theirs. We are far from the orange the Irish kid would be lucky to receive. Change preposition
apply
Halloween
sales each year in the USA exceed 12.5 billion dollars but if you ask any American, I doubt any of them even know the real significance
of the fest.
To conclude
, halloween
is an ancestral tradition that dates back Change the capitalization
Halloween
to
over 1 millennium ago, it had a real meaning and impact on Change preposition
apply
people
, now Halloween
is just a commercial even
where big companies make half of their yearly sales of Correct your spelling
event
candy
in a single day. It has lost all of its meaning and significance
.Submitted by z.pfister on
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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, it would be beneficial to provide a brief overview of the opposing views on the commercialization of Halloween. This will help set the context for the essay.
task achievement
You have provided a clear position on the statement in the introduction. Ensure that you stick to this position throughout the essay and provide arguments to support it.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your opinion on the commercialization of Halloween. Consider adding more specific details and examples to further strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your body paragraphs are well-developed and provide clear reasoning for your opinion. Ensure that you maintain coherence and cohesion by using appropriate transition words and phrases.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement. Try to incorporate more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your arguments.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.