Many people believe that they should spend money to enjoy life at present.others however, think they should save it for the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #money #life #future

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Life is to be enjoyed

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that they should consume their fortunes presently, but others believe

to invest

Change preposition

in investing

show examples

and enjoy it at a later time. Personally, I believe in the latter notion and will discuss the point of view of each belief system.

To begin

Linking Words

with, many

people

Use synonyms

choose to spend what they have now to buy whatever their

heart's

Change noun form

heart

show examples

desire

Correct subject-verb agreement

desires

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For example

Linking Words

, after every pay cheque,

people

Use synonyms

spend it to pay off their needs and wants

such

Linking Words

mortgage

Add an article

a mortgage

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, car payments and maintenance, beauty products, eating in restaurants and shopping for new trends of clothes, bags, and accessories.

This

Linking Words

is a temporary

hapiness

Correct your spelling

happiness

one can have.

However

Linking Words

, we need to think that our body will not grow any younger, it will come to a point where

people

Use synonyms

will reach elderly years, and health and wealth will decline if not properly invested well.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many of the population think that saving for the future is beneficial.

For instance

Linking Words

, they believe that once they get old, they do not have the strength and capacity to work anymore, and

that is

Linking Words

when they will use their resources to fund their everyday needs. Fortunately,

this

Linking Words

is true for human nature. I believe that with wisdom and proper discipline of financial resources, one can

be enjoy

Change the verb form

enjoy

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their retirement years. In conclusion, it is better to save portions of our hard-earned money for retirement year expenditures than foolishly consume

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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our cash for present temporary feasting and enjoyment.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we need to spend money now, we have to think

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

out

Correct your spelling

our

show examples

future as well.

Above all

Linking Words

, contentment is the key to

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

a better and happy life.

Submitted by quimbocerianne on Fri Nov 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument.

lexical resource

Maintain a consistent level of formality throughout the essay.

grammatical range

Use a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate language proficiency.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live in the moment
instant gratification
leisure activities
make memories
relieve stress
boost mental well-being
support local economy
wealth accumulation
financial stability
emergency funds
retirement savings
major life events
weigh the pros and cons
strike a balance
long-term perspective
financial preparedness

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?