Today's parents spend too little staying with their children and use television to make their children keep quiet. Explain the reason and results by using your relevant experience.

#parents #children #television #reason #results

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The technological boom always brings some demerits

along with

Linking Words

the expected benefits. In the current world, people are more connected to tech devices rather than others. Certainly, the parents are not innocent, either. Their reliance on modern facilities is weakening their parental efficiency at a good level. There are several reasons behind the irresponsibilities of fathers and mothers

such

Linking Words

as not giving enough

time

Use synonyms

to their

children

Use synonyms

and leaving them in front of the TV; which has some alarming consequences. Today's parents are severely addicted to digital devices.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

their workload is comparatively higher than the previous generation, they get enough

time

Use synonyms

to take care of their offspring. The matter of sorrow is that they prefer to spend

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

using their Android phones and computers over spending

time

Use synonyms

with their

children

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the

children

Use synonyms

of our present

time

Use synonyms

, are

such

Linking Words

stubborn that they don't like to compromise anything.

For example

Linking Words

, If they decide to watch TV, the only remedy that can pacify them is nothing but a television. To elaborate on the consequences, the family bonding and social network of

this

Linking Words

modern earth are damaging deliberately. As the parents are not getting attached to their future generation in a proper way, they are weakening the future family's strength.

Additionally

Linking Words

, societal connectivity is on the verge to extinct

due to

Linking Words

the fact that the upcoming young people are more glued to TVs, ignoring getting

along with

Linking Words

each other. In conclusion, the fathers and the mothers should be more careful about the well-being of their

children

Use synonyms

. Leaving the detrimental uses aside, they must focus on the positive aspects of technology.

Submitted by Jasim Uddin Rahat on Fri Nov 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Expand on the reasons why parents spend too little time with their children and rely on television.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that summarizes the main points.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary sentence structures.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

work schedules
financial pressures
quality time
occupy
excessive television viewing
parent-child bonding
cognitive development
language skills
passive
creative
behavioral problems
attention span

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believed that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. other believe that it is important for your children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you thing are the advantages of attending school from young children.
The debate over whether minors should stay at home or go to school is a sensitive and complex one. While some argue the importance of the stability and nurture provided to the young by staying at home is essential for their happiness and development, others highlight the need for socialising the children from a young age by sending them to school and integrating them with society. In my view, an adolescent at the age of six or seven should start school to develop much-needed social and emotional intelligence and to better set the child up for life. In this essay, I will be discussing both perspectives and provide a conclusion.
6
band
As we are facing more and more problems, which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays global issues are rising very rapidly due to which maintaining good relationships with other nations is considered to be essential. I agree with this statement because I think coronavirus pandemic has proved why different countries should work together as one and at times of natural calamities taking help from other countries is very important in order to save the lives of many people.
5
band
In the future all cars, uses and trucks will be dirverless. This only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advatages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays it is argued that having an education life abroad is an exciting posibility while others think studying in the country where they were born is better. Although, I totally agree with the opinion which says studying in another country is better. This essay will demonstrate the advantages of both assessments.
7.5
band
Some countries are struggling with an increase rate in crime. Many people think that increasing police on the roads is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree ?
It is quite common these days for people to become famous through appearing in TV programs and the internet. This trend would create certain benefits but there will also be some drawbacks. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this method of pursuing fame.
5.5
band
Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?
Why are examinations conducted in the first place? It provides the proof of knowledge. Analysis of knowledge can be evaluated in a lot of different ways and I don't believe that the traditional system is the perfect way to do this. This point will be justified by discussing the way students work around using memorization method and syllabus not being updated every year.

Today's parents spend too little staying with their children and use television to make their children keep quiet. Explain the reason and results by using your relevant experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believed that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. other believe that it is important for your children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you thing are the advantages of attending school from young children.

As we are facing more and more problems, which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, uses and trucks will be dirverless. This only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advatages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries are struggling with an increase rate in crime. Many people think that increasing police on the roads is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree ?

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?