IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with the statement?

#governments #money #railway #roads #vou
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Congestion
Use synonyms
 is one of the biggest problems in several countries. Many countries have thought that the problem of
congestion
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 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
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governments
are spend
Change the verb form
are spending
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 more money on infrastructure for roads
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than
railways
Use synonyms
. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, but I will discuss both sides of the argument. Governments in several cities
are spend
Change the verb form
are spending
show examples
 more money on
Add an article
the roadway
a roadway
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roadway
Fix the agreement mistake
roadways
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, based on the fact that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 spend less budget to build roads rather than
railways
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. Most of
roads
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the roads
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 in several cities are already
builded
Correct your spelling
built
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 from
anchestor
Replace the word
ancient times
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 many years
before
Rephrase
ago
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. Meanwhile, it takes a lot of time to build a railway to travel from place to place. Other than that, it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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 more effectiveness to build
a highways
Correct the article-noun agreement
highways
a highway
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 rather than
railways
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, governments need to create a station for
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train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 to transit. Despite the time and finance to construct
railways
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, trains can make a significant change to solve
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congestion
Add an article
the congestion
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 problem. I believe
railways
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the answer to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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Use synonyms
congestion
Correct article usage
the congestion
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 problem, because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 effectiveness
to transport
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in transporting
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 people. Hundred people can be transported by one
train
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of tens cars and improved connectivity between
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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 as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, trains can be a
promotion
Replace the word
promotional
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 event for tourists to come. It is owing to the fact that building a railway is
also
Linking Words
 for the preservation of natural resources, so tourists can see the scenery from the
train
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. Trains are
also
Linking Words
 to solve unemployment issues on account of it
creates
Wrong verb form
creating
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new jobs. Many
unemployee
Correct your spelling
employees
 can be hired in just one station. In conclusion, it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 a lot of cash to manufacture a single railway rather than a road, but there are many problems in cities that can be solved by
train
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 transportation,
such
Linking Words
 as
congestion
Use synonyms
 and unemployment. So
this
Linking Words
 project needs to be carefully thought out by the government to make it a long-term project.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific main point and provides sufficient supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a brief summary of your main points in the conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of synonyms and phrases to enhance your expression.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve overall clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • urbanization
  • efficient
  • sustainable
  • commute
  • congestion
  • emissions
  • connectivity
  • employment
  • investment
  • preservation
  • tourist attractions
What to do next:
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