IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You want to sell your mobile phone. You think a friend of yours might like to to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you are selling the phone Discribe the phone Suggest a mode of payment to your friend

#phone #friend #discribe #mode #payment
Dear Guri, How are you and your family ? Hope everything is fine. I heard that you are looking for a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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 in the 20,000 or 30,000 range. Fortunately, I too wanted my smartphone for 25,000. Actually, I bought
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 11 for 50,000
last
 year, and now I am planning to buy the new version next month. The reason why I want to purchase is the
6 inch
Add a hyphen
6-inch
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 wide screen and the latest camera feature. I can watch high-definition videos on
six inch
Add a hyphen
six-inch
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 screen and take tons of pictures. My
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 11 is no lesser
then
Replace the word
than
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other smartphone
Change the wording
another smartphone
other smartphones
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 in the market. It is still one of
wanted
Correct article usage
the wanted
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 mobile phones for its processor, RAM and storage
epaces
Correct your spelling
spaces
space
. It had no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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issue
of
Change preposition
with
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 battery drainage, stuck up or any features. If you are interested in buying my phone just drop me a message. I will share the G pay link. So, that you can
do
Verb problem
make
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 the online payment. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Guri Dhillon
Submitted by gsdhillon23595 on

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task achievement
Make sure to address all the points mentioned in the prompt. You haven't mentioned why you are selling the phone.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas and paragraphs in a more logical manner. The letter lacks coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to make your letter more interesting and engaging.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar, especially sentence structure and tense consistency.
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