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Band 3.5

Some people say that main environmental of our time is losing of particular species of animals and plants . Others say thet there are more important enviromental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #time #species #animals #plants
People believe that environmental
problems
 are caused by the
loss
 of
animals
 and
trees
while
 others disagree with that.I believe that the
loss
 of
animals
 and
trees
 is the main cause of environmental
problems
. The imbalance of biodiversity
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to losing
animals
 and plants.The cutting of
trees
 makes the environment
atmosphere
Correct word choice
and atmosphere
show examples
 imbalanced and
also
 affects
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weather conditions.
For instance
, in time rain does not occur. Some people believe that the
loss
 of
animals
 and
trees
 is not the main reason for environmental
problems
 because nowadays extinction of
animals
 we still alive . There are no effects on human beings .Our lifestyles are improved more
due to
 the advancement of technology. There are no
problems
 with losing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
 and
trees
.In cities , there are very less of plants but not much impact on human beings. In conclusion, I believe that there are major effects
due to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of
animals
 and plants.Some people agree with the statement that there is no effect
while
 others believe that there are major effects.
Submitted by priayankak866 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more clear and effectively summarize your main points.
task achievement
Your main points could be supported with more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
lexical resource
You have used a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. Try to incorporate more precise and varied vocabulary.
grammatical range
Your sentence structures are generally accurate, but you can improve on the variety and complexity of your sentences to showcase a wider grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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