Some people claim that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. While others think that they can establish a minority community instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Globalization has made the world borderless and Immigration has become a popular trend in
the
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apply
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society. It is believed by a few Individuals that the immigrants should adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
culture
and traditions of the host
country
,
while
others believe they should maintain their own
culture
and remain as
minority
Add an article
a minority
show examples
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
a balance of both can be fruitful.
This
essay shall discuss both views briefly and
lastly
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lastly,
show examples
I shall discuss my opinion. Adopting a new
culture
can be beneficial in many
and
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apply
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ways.
Firstly
, it helps the
new comers
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newcomers
show examples
to merge with
the
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apply
show examples
society quickly. It is required because, without accepting the
country
's
culture
an
Immigrent
Correct your spelling
immigrant
may not get suitable jobs to survive.
For instance
, if an emigrant from the
middle east
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Middle East
show examples
immigrates to a
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
country
and does not want to put on the appropriate attire of those countries, he may not get any jobs.
Secondly
, showing respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the new
country
's
culture
is a holy duty for the migrants. As in most cases people immigrate for better opportunities, they should
also
show respect
to
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for
show examples
the countries' existing
culture
and
tradition
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traditions
show examples
. For example, many
european
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European
show examples
footballers
while
playing for
the
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apply
show examples
football clubs
of
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in
show examples
the
middle east
Correct your spelling
Middle East
show examples
country
; put on their traditional dresses as a token of respect.
Furthermore
, it can prevent communal
clash
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clashes
show examples
.
In other words
, by accepting the foreign
culture
an immigrant can largely
become benefitted
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benefit
show examples
.
On the other hand
, many
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believe
show examples
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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foreign migrants should stay as a
minority
in the new society, because it helps them
to
Verb problem
apply
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preserve their own traditions and values.
This
is
due to
the fact that there are many religious barriers which can
be conflicting
Wrong verb form
conflict
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the new
culture
. Adopting those can be impossible for many migrants. Studies have shown that
,
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apply
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around 70%
muslims
Change preposition
of muslims
show examples
from different countries do not want to accept a plethora of cultures of a
christian majority
Correct your spelling
Christian-majority
country
.
Moreover
, when an immigrant completely gives up his inherited
culture
, may not go back to his
country
in the future. If mine immigrants are allowed to maintain their own cultural norms, they are likely to feel more
secured
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secure
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
people should be given
with
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apply
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the freedom to choose their own
preferances
Correct your spelling
preferences
. The idea of complete transformation is not only an inhuman thought but
also
impractical.
Conversely
,
formulation
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the formulation
show examples
of
minority
groups can result in various conflicts. If
immigments
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immigrants
are given
with
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apply
show examples
the flexibility and freedom to decide
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own,
this
may bring the best results. In conclusion,
although
a migrant
need
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needs
show examples
to adapt to the foreign
culture
due to
various socio-economic reasons;
however
, they shouldn't expect to live as a
minority
group. I believe, immigrants should be given
with
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apply
show examples
the freedom and time to adapt themselves
with
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to
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the new
countrys'
Change noun form
country's
show examples
culture
, which might be beneficial for both
the
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apply
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parties.
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task response
Ensure that you clearly address all parts of the essay prompt. Make sure to discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Include an introduction and conclusion to provide a complete response.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and phrases. This will enhance the richness of your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accuracy and clarity in your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adopt the local culture
  • integrate
  • social customs
  • mutual respect
  • cultural clashes
  • minority community
  • cultural diversity
  • emotional support
  • mental health
  • multicultural society
  • harmonious coexistence
  • heritage
  • social acceptance
  • cultural practices
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