IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that studying online is more effective than studying on campus. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online study?

Recently, the advancement of technology plays are crucial role in modern society. These technologies make our work more effective and efficient. Few individuals think that studying online is more successful and well-organised than learning on
campus
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss in-depth its merits and demerits in the subsequent paragraphs
and
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, and
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lastly
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, I will come to a logical conclusion.
To begin
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 with, study is an important aspect of every citizen.
Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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 gadgets play a vital role in learning. To elaborate,
undoubtedly
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undoubtedly,
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 if the pupils are studying
online
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online,
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 they will save travel expenses and the time to reach their
campus
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.
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secondly
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Secondly
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, every online lecturer is recorded
and
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, and
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 a learner can replay when they need to.
Students
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 can watch their lecturer's video at any time.
For instance
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, during the pandemic, every learner attends their classes online to stop the spread of the virus and not to interact with other citizens.
On the other hand
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, if the pupils are attending lectures online and not going to
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campus
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campus,
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 they will not interact with other humans. Professors or teachers will be unaware
to identify
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of identifying
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 the soft skills and communication skills of the children. To explicate,
students
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 will not be
socialized
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socialised
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and
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, and
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 they will not know about their surroundings. Studying online or reading through laptops or mobile phones
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students
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apply
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can damage
their
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their'
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 eyes.
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Hence
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Hence,
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 it is important for every pupil to go out to study on
campus
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 to feel the environment, youth festivals, plays, watch sports activities and participate in the events held on
campus
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 Conclusion
Online
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: Online
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 study has a lot of benefits
like
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, like
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 saving a lot of time, expenses and
students
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 can watch recorded lectures
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, despite
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despite
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although
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 learners should go on
campus
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 to see the environment and other citizens

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coherence
Your essay talks about both sides, but some ideas are not clearly linked. Use clear topic sentences and simple link words so ideas flow from one to the next.
task
Give a bit more detail for each point. Be fair to both sides with equal effort in showing why online study can be good and why it is not.
language
Fix common grammar and spelling. For example, 'plays are crucial role' should be 'play an important role', and 'well-organised' should be 'well organized'.
structure
End with a short, strong conclusion that repeats your main idea.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the topic.
structure
There is a starting intro and a final conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • access
  • resources
  • cost-effective
  • affordable
  • diverse
  • global
  • self-discipline
  • self-motivated
  • disciplined
  • personal growth
  • collaborative
  • technical difficulties
  • connectivity
  • disrupt
  • hands-on experience
  • replicate
  • self-motivation
  • proactive
  • challenging
  • distractions
What to do next:
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