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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

-1.07.23 The graph below shows the proportion of types of magazines sold by the company in 1975, 1995 and 2015.

-1.07.23 The graph below shows the proportion of types of magazines sold by the company in 1975, 1995 and 2015.
The chart illustrates the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
magazines
Use synonyms
 sold by a company in 1975, 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of sports
magazines
Use synonyms
 sold in 2015 took the largest part,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of fashion
magazines
Use synonyms
 in the same year was in the lowest
posistion
Correct your spelling
position
.
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
magazines
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 the best
sellers
Change the noun form
seller
show examples
 type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
company, with 30$ sold in 1975
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 increased to 35% in 1995 and more than 40% in 2015. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for food
magazines
Use synonyms
 in 1975 was 10%,
then
Linking Words
 it doubled in 1995 and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same percentage
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1975
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2015. In 1975, the number of fashion
magazines
Use synonyms
 sold was double
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
food
Change preposition
of food
show examples
magazines
Use synonyms
 in the same year.
However
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for fashion
magazines
Use synonyms
 saw a serious negative trend and reached its bottom at 5% in 2015. Looking at health
magazines
Use synonyms
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for it in 1975 was approximately 25%.
Then
Linking Words
, it dropped to 20% and remained the same
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the next 20 years. The proportion of the
others kind
Fix the agreement mistake
other kinds
show examples
 of
magazines
Use synonyms
 in 1975 was equal to health
magazines
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 in 1995m it
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
 to its peak at just over 30%. After that, it
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 to nearly 20% in 2015.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, magazines with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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