Many teenagers are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time?

Several parents forced their teenage children to take part in part-time jobs.
This
essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers applying for a job. On the one hand, freelance jobs will gain more experience for youngsters than others who do not. With their involvement in some project opportunities, they will find out how to communicate with others.
For instance
, they will face many new people both their clients and employers that will encourage them to prepare before they talk.
As a result
, they are resorted to becoming well-communicated.
However
, the busy time will be disturbing them. Despite
this
, they have many activities that are more important than
work
.
Firstly
, their liability is to study in
school
insist them to focus on learning the subjects. Nowadays, enrolling in college requires a scholastic test. Rather than working, they must learn the basic knowledge in
school
to continue their academic careers at the university.
Secondly
, rather than being employers, youngsters may join some organizations that engage in social life. Most social organizations are free to join, and teenagers may acquire many friends and connections same as a part-time job.
Furthermore
, joining the volunteering program is the beginning of teenagers facing
work
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
before signing up as an employee. In conclusion, the young society are resorted by their parents to
work
freelance which brings many new opportunities for them.
In contrast
, it will disturb their responsibility to study in
school
. Youngsters may focus on
school
or join some social organization that provides many benefits as same as
work
.
Submitted by re.li on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that each paragraph clearly follows from the previous one and that all paragraphs are linked in a way that supports your overall argument. Use cohesive devices to help sequence information and ideas, but be careful not to overuse them.
Coherence & Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be improved by making your thesis statement more specific and by ensuring that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points raised in the essay without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the support for your main points, try to provide more detailed examples and evidence. Each point you make should be backed up by specific information that demonstrates your understanding of the issue and strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
While you have provided a complete response to the prompt, aim to explore each side of the argument more fully to show a balanced perspective. Acknowledge the complexity of the issue by considering multiple viewpoints and providing nuanced arguments.
Task Achievement
Strive for clearer, more comprehensive ideas by unpacking each point more thoroughly. Consider how you can expand upon each advantage and disadvantage with more depth and clarity to give the reader a better understanding of the implications of teenage part-time work.
Task Achievement
Your essay should include relevant and specific examples to enhance your arguments. These examples should be directly connected to the topic and serve to illustrate the points made in the essay. Including real-life scenarios or substantiated hypotheticals can greatly strengthen your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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