Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?

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Introduction

it has been a topic to discuss

further

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on whether

children

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aged 16 to 19 do charity work

such

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as helping elders and working with animals falls into mandatory

community

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programs rather than mere additional social

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program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

. I personally think that the obligation may include

advantage

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advantages

show examples

and

disadvantage

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disadvantages

show examples

for

children

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, especially if the

community

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program

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is considered as a subject to mark in determining

children

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's path to higher education.

Body paragraph 1

Nowadays, in

Correct article usage

a fast-pacing

show examples

fast-pacing

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fast-paced

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world, it is becoming harder to be in touch with social

event

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events

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. Young people are expected to be

world's

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the world's

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future leaders but barely have

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any

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time to interact with social life in their surroundings

because

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because of

show examples

the load of studying at school they have already in the first place. If

this

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condition

countinues

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continues

, the leaders in the future that we are expecting will be acting based on

textbook

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textbooks

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or materials.

Therefore

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Change preposition

apply

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letting them

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apply

show examples

engage with

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community

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the community

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hopefully will contribute

better

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to better

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social interaction.

For example

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, taking care of

older

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the older

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generation

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show examples

the weekend may generate

idea

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an idea

the idea

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that these young people are not disconnected

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from

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the life where they live. Additional value for enabling

children

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to communicate with

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community

Add an article

the community

show examples

is shaping emotional

feeling

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feelings

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, with the intention that one day young people as policy-makers would include

prosperity

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the prosperity

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of elders and animals in their framework.

Body paragraph 2

On the contrary

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, I can not disregard the negative effect

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show examples

implementing

this

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policy as mandatory. In several countries

such

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as South Korea,

community

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program

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programs

show examples

sometimes

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are sometimes

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held

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show examples

weekend

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weekends

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according to

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the school and the

community

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's cooperation. That being said,

children

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are less likely to get enough rest the entire week, meanwhile if

children

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do not participate, it will affect their marks. It is particularly concerning

due to

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the fact that adding

community

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program

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programs

show examples

as mandatory will be deemed as increasing the school hours as well.

Conclusion

In conclusion, there are sort of affirmative and negative views

upon

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show examples

the

enforcibility

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enforceability

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community

Add an article

a community

show examples

Use synonyms

program

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programs

show examples

for

children

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to join. Yet it should not hamper the idea that

community

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program

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programs

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

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matter to

children

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, but

instead

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what the implementation should

also

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regulate in its policy is

that

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

when the

community

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program

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will be conducted. The aim to make

children

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Change the verb form

apply

show examples

engage with elders and animals

as well as

Linking Words

children

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's rest time can only be achieved if the policy is inclusive enough to

accomodate

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accommodate

children

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perspective

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perspectives

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as well, not merely seeing the importance of

community

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program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

imsarunn

Nov 4, 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to have a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, expand on the advantages and disadvantages of mandatory community programs for young people. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.

lexical resource

To strengthen lexical resource, vary your vocabulary and use more sophisticated and specific words and phrases. Avoid repetition and explore synonyms and related terms.

grammatical range

To improve grammatical range, pay attention to sentence structures, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Use a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence patterns.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

396 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

mandatory
community programs
charity work
elderly assistance
responsibility
empathy
real-world experience
resumes
college applications
broader understanding
societal issues
cultures
genuine interest
academic performance
logistical challenges
coordination
support
time-consuming

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Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?

In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

With a growing work population one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a larger number of people. some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extent do you agree or siagree?

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people often talk about financial matters like earnings and expenses. Why is this happening? Is it a good or bad trend?