IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
I strongly disagree with the proponents of
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that releasing some criminals from
the
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apply
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prison in exchange
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public services is beneficial. I believe that It can disrupt the balance of society
what
Correct word choice
that
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 we have now. Releasing a convict in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favor of community services poses a threat to the reputation of
judicial
Add an article
the judicial
show examples
 system.
This
 is
due to
a
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the
show examples
 fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 many criminals could bribe authorities in exchange
of
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for
show examples
 less demanding punishment. In my country, many judges were found guilty of taking bribes from the relatives of criminals, in exchange
of
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for
show examples
 reduced sentences for them.
Therefore
, I could only imagine the disappointment of people in
such
society
Correct article usage
a society
show examples
, where implementing
this
law
 has the potential to
exacerbating
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exacerbate
show examples
 the prevailing corruption in the
law
 system.
Therefore
, allowing convicts to a
meager
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meagre
show examples
 sentence
of
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for
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 participating in public services should be discouraged.
Apart from
this
, releasing prisoners will be a deleterious development for the present and future safety outlook of a nation. If an
offeder
Correct your spelling
offender
offer
 is not sentenced for serving in
a
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apply
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prison,
then
this
 will cause him to revert back to his criminal pursuits.
This
 is because
,
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apply
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 community service is
painless
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a painless
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 punishment that will fail to Instill the fear of punishment for his illegal actions.
Also
, it will result in some individual
to embark
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embarking
show examples
 on their journey of crime
due to
 less strict legal repercussions. In conclusion, the existing
law
 is more suited and shouldn't
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 the new petition
of
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for
show examples
prisoners
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prisoners'
prisoner's
show examples
release
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released
show examples
 into
the
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apply
show examples
society. It is crucial in order to ascertain that the faith of people remains strong
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in
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on
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in
show examples
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the law
show examples
law
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the law
show examples
 process, alongside
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apply
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with
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apply
show examples
fostering
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a
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the
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a
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 sense of safety and security among
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 citizens.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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