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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisations from 2008 to 2011.

The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisations from 2008 to 2011.
The bar chart illustrates how much
money
Use synonyms
 was given to developing
countries
Use synonyms
 from 5 different organisations between 2008 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that
Organisation
Use synonyms
 2 and
Organisation
Use synonyms
 3 fund developing
countries
Use synonyms
 more than other organisations. The amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on developing nations was rising from
Organisation
Use synonyms
 2 and
Organisation
Use synonyms
 1,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for
Organisation
Use synonyms
 4 and
Organisation
Use synonyms
 5 had a decline. Looking at the details, in 2008, developing nations were given around 1.3 billion
dollars
Use synonyms
 and 1.5 billion
dollars
Use synonyms
 from
Organisation
Use synonyms
 2 and
Organisation
Use synonyms
 3, which rose to 1.5 and 1.7
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, these figures showed an opposite trend in expenditures in 2010, with the former significantly rising to just under 2.5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the latter dropping to less than 1.5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 funded by developing
countries
Use synonyms
 was roughly identical for
Organisation
Use synonyms
 1 and 4, starting at above 0.5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. The former increased to just under 1
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 before declining to around 0.7
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the latter decreased to less than 0.5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. Despite a rise to 0.5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2009, the amount
Change preposition
of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 spent declined to nearly 0.3
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Organisation
Use synonyms
 5 invested in developing
countries
Use synonyms
 more than 1
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2008, which declined every year to under 0,5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2011.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, countries, organisation, dollars, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international aid
  • developing countries
  • economic assistance
  • fluctuations
  • trend analysis
  • philanthropic organizations
  • non-governmental organizations (NGOs)
  • foreign aid
  • donor countries
  • recipient nations
  • financial contributions
  • economic conditions
  • fiscal policies
  • sustainable development
  • humanitarian aid
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
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