Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

It is true that the phenomenon of dealing with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health problems without

professionally

Change the word

professional

show examples

medical

adivice

Correct your spelling

advice

is more and more common.

While

some argue that alternative treatments for diseases may be more helpful, I firmly believe that seeing a

doctor

when

people

feel uncomfortable is a better choice. There are two reasons I do

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

the idea of finding a

doctor

to get

assistants

Fix the agreement mistake

assistance

show examples

To begin

with,

although

going to a pharmacy to get medicine is convenient, alternative treatments can be dangerous without a correct prescription.

This

is because

people

do not have enough professional knowledge to understand and diagnose themselves. To be more specific, a basic medical treatment not only can be incorrect but

also

invalid without a

doctor

's assessment. From my experience, I suffered from a knife cut but just used some medicine from the pharmacy, in the end, the

doctor

suggested me to do surgery on my finger.

In addition

, doctors not only can give helpful medicines but

also

instant treatments.

Firstly

, every

doctor

needs to build their professional skills in a long-term training program, which is extremely strict and difficult.

Moreover

, some situations need treatment as soon as possible because they may cause irreversible results.

Such

as cancers, car accidents and heart illness.

For example

, a person who breaks a leg needs to be sent to the hospital immediately to avoid

further

damage.

Hence

, I believe these are the reasons we should prevent

people

from these negative consequences. In conclusion, I believe that

people

attempt to resolve

people

's health problems quickly, has a detrimental impact on our society.

As a result

, in my opinion, I strongly argue that

people

should seek doctors' help

instead

of other solutions.

Submitted by vincent3725416 on Sat Nov 04 2023

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed, including presenting a clear opinion on whether the development is positive or negative.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraph divisions and topic sentences to improve coherence.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and phrases to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structures and grammatical accuracy to improve your grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Do you agree or disagree that in the near future the role of teachers will be taken by the technology?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.