Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is true that the phenomenon of dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health problems without
professionally
Change the word
professional
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medical
adivice
Correct your spelling
advice
is more and more common.
While
some argue that alternative treatments for diseases may be more helpful, I firmly believe that seeing a
doctor
when
people
feel uncomfortable is a better choice. There are two reasons I do
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
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the idea of finding a
doctor
to get
assistants
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
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.
To begin
with,
although
going to a pharmacy to get medicine is convenient, alternative treatments can be dangerous without a correct prescription.
This
is because
people
do not have enough professional knowledge to understand and diagnose themselves. To be more specific, a basic medical treatment not only can be incorrect but
also
invalid without a
doctor
's assessment. From my experience, I suffered from a knife cut but just used some medicine from the pharmacy, in the end, the
doctor
suggested me to do surgery on my finger.
In addition
, doctors not only can give helpful medicines but
also
instant treatments.
Firstly
, every
doctor
needs to build their professional skills in a long-term training program, which is extremely strict and difficult.
Moreover
, some situations need treatment as soon as possible because they may cause irreversible results.
Such
as cancers, car accidents and heart illness.
For example
, a person who breaks a leg needs to be sent to the hospital immediately to avoid
further
damage.
Hence
, I believe these are the reasons we should prevent
people
from these negative consequences. In conclusion, I believe that
people
attempt to resolve
people
's health problems quickly, has a detrimental impact on our society.
As a result
, in my opinion, I strongly argue that
people
should seek doctors' help
instead
of other solutions.
Submitted by vincent3725416 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed, including presenting a clear opinion on whether the development is positive or negative.
coherence and cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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