Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, teaching
children
to become responsible citizens is prevalent in the community. Some believe that
parents
should bear the responsibility to educate their offspring,
whereas
, some argue that school plays a vital role in achieving
this
goal.
This
essay illustrates both of the perspectives and from my point of view, it is undoubted that
parents
and teachers should cooperate together in order to educate our next generation to be a better inhabitant. To start with, some believe that
parents
are perhaps the most influential figures in a child’s life as it is a well-known fact that
children
imitate the behaviour of their
parents
.
As a result
, many
children
adopt the thought patterns and values of their
parents
.
For instance
, if
parents
adhere to the value of being trustworthy and responsible to nurture their young, it seems that
children
would become a behaved and conscientious person after adolescence.
For
this
reason, bringing up offspring by their
parents
is essential to teaching
children
to be good people.
On the other hand
, some suggest that the education system is
also
necessary to cultivate
children
to become good students.
Due to
the comprehensive learning environment in schools, students could learn how to become courteous by communicating with their peers.
Besides
, learning how to schedule study plans and prioritise learning tasks
also
helps students to become more systematic and structural in their work.
Hence
, elementary education is compulsory in educating
children
to be good inhabitants. In conclusion, even though
parents
and schools play different roles in
children
’s developmental stages, they both influence
children
to learn the values of a positive attitude and being responsible.
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Task Achievement
Make sure to always include clear examples to support your ideas, especially when discussing the influence of parents and schools on children. This helps to deepen the analysis and makes your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay generally has a good flow, but consider using more varied transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. This can enhance the logical structure and the overall readability of the essay.
Overall
Develop your conclusion further by summarizing the key points more concisely and clearly stating your personal stance. This strengthens the overall impact of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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