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Band 6

Some peole think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

#peole #government #focus #economy #country #people #services #health #education #programs #support
Although
 many
people
 think that the
government
 should focus on improving the economy of the nation, others say they should rather try to improve social
services
. It is agreed that the central
government
 should strongly focus on two vital
services
; they should provide better
education
 facilities for teenagers and special treatment plans for retired
people
. To start with the first service of
education
 service should be improvised better way by the politics for the upcoming generation. The
government
 should provide a garden to do yoga classes with gymnastics equipment at a discount price in order to improve the subject optional choices namely aerodynamics and artificial intelligence chapters .
For example
, in recent article claims that 60% of students gained knowledge immensely by accessing
such
 types of
services
 by the recently chosen member of parliament in India.
However
, the
government
 ought to improve a scheme for pensioners to access more
health
 benefits. Those aged 70 plus can get a stick and wheelchair with the latest features of
A.I.
Correct your spelling
AI
show examples
 so that they can survive independently to improve their
health
-related issues and regular check-ups nurse provide for their surveillance and physical
health
 safety reasons.
For instance
, the newspaper of Canada
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 mentioned an advertisement about the latest party imposing a better
health
 facility for old
people
 in 2024. In conclusion, it is a fact that
health
 and
education
 subjects are important for the
government
 to provide better
services
 to society. In my opinion, it would be an important factor for the
government
 to focus deeply on
education
 programmes and retirement schemes for all older
people
.
Submitted by patelhardik2199 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. Each paragraph should have a clear purpose and link smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion which state your position and summarize the main points of your argument, respectively.
task achievement
Develop your main points with clear, relevant examples. Avoid vague statements or generalizations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • business environment
  • income inequality
  • infrastructure development
  • public health
  • education system
  • social safety net
  • standard of living
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic indicators
  • government spending
  • taxation
  • public services
  • public investment
  • human capital
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