Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reason for this? is it a positive or negative development?
There is no doubt that these days
the
famous Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
take
too much Verb problem
spend
money
Use synonyms
comparison
with Replace the word
compared
people
who work in the government. The Use synonyms
puestion
what Correct your spelling
question
are
the reason for Change the verb form
is
take
all that Change the verb form
taking
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
from
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
people
Use synonyms
?.
In Change the punctuation
?
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will discuss why is it that and if it's Change the capitalization
I
positive
or negative improvement Correct article usage
a positive
also
Linking Words
i
will draw my personal conclusion.
In terms of Change the capitalization
I
positive
side, anyone who Add an article
the positive
become
famous Change the verb form
becomes
in
social media Change preposition
on
have
a lot of Change the verb form
has
money
. The main reason given Use synonyms
support
Add the particle
to support
this
claim is that the company who Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
product
give Correct article usage
the product
that
Correct word choice
apply
people
the products to make for them an Use synonyms
ad
after that the company give them Use synonyms
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
money
because they Use synonyms
the an
Choose an article
the
an
ad
. To illustrate, Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
apply
people
share their Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
for
Change preposition
with
whole
world Change the article
the whole
such
as how they live or eat Linking Words
also
their Linking Words
gathering
because Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
that
all Correct determiner usage
apply
people
love them. In Use synonyms
others
words, Correct quantifier usage
other
people
spend whole their day watch that Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
in
social media and that help famous Change preposition
on
people
to share Use synonyms
about
a lot of an Change preposition
apply
ad
Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
resturant
or shops like that after that they earn more Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
money
from the Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
views.
Change noun form
people's
However
, the celebrities sometimes they don't finish their Linking Words
study
. Use synonyms
Besides
, they have much Linking Words
Use synonyms
money
than Correct quantifier usage
more money
politicions
Correct your spelling
politicians
people
who Use synonyms
study
very well and they have a great degree. In Use synonyms
others
words, that bad for Correct quantifier usage
other
people
who spend whole their life studying and suddenly Use synonyms
come
someone who Verb problem
apply
spend
their life Change the verb form
spends
play
or Wrong verb form
playing
sleep
and only Wrong verb form
sleeping
make
an Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
ad
and Use synonyms
get
more Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
money
. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
may be
in future Correct your spelling
maybe
people
will stop Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
and they will start to be Wrong verb form
studying
a
famous person because that Correct article usage
apply
people
take more Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
anf
become rich fast Correct your spelling
and
such
as nowadays if someone Linking Words
want
that they should Change the verb form
wants
dancing
or sing Change the verb form
dance
be dancing
in
social media after that they become Change preposition
on
trend
and all Add an article
a trend
people
will follow them Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
company
will give them a lot of Add an article
the company
money
to make for them an Use synonyms
ad
.
In conclusion, it is evident that famous Use synonyms
persom
shouldn't take more Correct your spelling
person
money
than normal workers. That negative development because Use synonyms
they
are some Correct pronoun usage
there
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
hard to get a good salary, Correct pronoun usage
who study
must
ensure steps are taken to prevent Correct word choice
and must
this
phenomenon from deteriorating future.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are missing. Make sure to include them in your essay to provide a clear structure and closure.
task achievement
Your main points are supported with some examples, but they could be more specific and relevant to the topic. Try to provide stronger evidence to strengthen your arguments.
lexical resource
Although your essay shows a basic range of vocabulary, it lacks sophistication and variety. Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout your essay. Pay attention to your sentence structure, verb agreement, and word choice to improve your grammar.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite