The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph compares the information of the
new-opend
Correct your spelling
newly opened
and closed shops in a period of 8 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
both categories
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated over
a
Change the article
an
show examples
8-year period.
While
Linking Words
there are more shops
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
closed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
, the highest point can be seen in the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
openings. Looking at the diagram
closey
Correct your spelling
closely
, during 2011-2015,
while
Linking Words
the number in opening had
a
Change the article
an
show examples
up and down for few times, there was still a peak at around 8500
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of the period.
Also
Linking Words
, the closures
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
experienced
a
Change the article
the
show examples
lowest number about 800. For the next 4 years, the openings were relatively stable, only
saw
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
a drop
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
1000. In the closures, it rose to 5000 and became
steadliy
Correct your spelling
steadily
as well.
Submitted by vincent3725416 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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